Tig Ol' Bitties Massage

I was trolling the internet like I do and found this story about this chick named Kristy Love in Georgia that gives massages uses her big ass breasts. She's 34 and has boobs that are 48NN. That is not a typo. I didn't even know that was an actual size. At a certain point it should just become a symbol. Like “My breasts are size Exclamation Point.” I think if I were a chick and my boobs got that big that I would have to do something about it. Like exactly what she is doing. Fuck surgery to get them smaller.

“THE premiere CMT (certified massage therapist) BBW (big beautiful woman) body rub specialist taking Atlanta AND the world to an all new level of BBW adult entertainment.”

Her clients can get normal massages but seriously who the fuck is going there for that? You want a normal one you go to the places that speak perfect English and don't even give you a happy ending. Love also does sensual massages which means that all she does is sensual massages. She also has a special called “happy man works” where she just uses her breasts to give a massage. I have never had a professional massage but I assume that hands and elbows do a better job than having huge titties rubbed all over you.

Thomas was never seen again...

On her website she says that the massage is supposed to “keep you focused in the present and give you the opportunity to experience all aspects of your nature not just a part of your persona.” And by “all aspects” I think she means the dick parts. She says that when she finished massage school that she couldn't get a regular job because folks were concerned if she could stand all day. One day a customer asked if she could take her shirt off and she decided to give it a try.

“At first, I was indignant and said I didn't give those kinds of massages. I was ashamed of my body because I was so big. But when I realized there might be something in breast massages I put an advert in the local newspaper and the phone began ringing off the hook.” She says she makes as much as $1300 a goddamn day. That's a lot of damn money a day to just rub your tits on someone. I should start some dick rubbing on business. Any takers?

She also squashes some customers. Yes. I said squash. “I have to keep an eye out when I'm squashing someone. I look at their feet and their fingers to make sure there is still movement there and they’re still breathing.” Ain't that 'bout a bitch?

"Mmmmfppph!!!"

“Oh, how he die?”

“Some big tittied girl crushed his dumb ass!”

“Jealous, much?”

Some massage therapists say that Love is giving them a bad name. I call them haters. I bet you that 98% of guys that go to a massage therapist just go with the hopes of having their dick tugged. They don't even care what the woman looks like. They just want their dick touched by a stranger. I personally don't want giant tit crushing me. I'm more of a thigh man and that seems dangerous and awkward. I cant even picture getting a massage with someone just using their thighs. I cant picture it now but I will later when my hands are free.