Dante Bitches About 10 Things Guys Absolutely Hate About Missionary Sex

I dislike Cosmopolitan with the type of hatred reserved for people battling vengeful Roman gods that wipe out generations of children just to bone their mother. Every once in a while I'll check their site out to see what terrible advice they are giving women and men or to learn what not to do and complain about. In this Dante Bitches About 10 Things Guys Absolutely Hate About Missionary Sex I am gonna post what they have written, Frank Kobola (if that's his real name) and post my own response because that is what I do. Respond. Never act. I'm like the Floyd Mayweather Jr. of blogs. But taller. And less rich. And slightly more liked.

1) There's not much to see. In terms of tried-and-true “lie on top of each other and pork” style missionary, you’re not getting to see much of the action. Guys especially are very visual during sex, and as romantic as it is to stare into your eyes while boning, it isn’t exactly titillating. Yes, we love looking at your lovely face, but we get to see that every time we go out to dinner or brush our teeth together in the mirror. This is about sex, specifically nakedness. And virtually every other sex position imaginable gives guys a better look at your body.

Dante Bitches About 12 Things That All Women Hate About Guys

There is this bullshit article on Cosmo that I found because I am done writing my blogs for the day and felt like being bothered so I went there. There was one called 12 Things That All Women Hate About Guys and I am hoping it was written by a 16 year old girl whose longest relationship was three weeks and not a grown ass woman. Just checked the writers bio. She is a woman that is the sex and relationships editor on their site which explains so much.

I was going to write a 12 Things That All Men Hate About Chicks but that wouldn't make any sense. It would make less sense than what will follow this paragraph. I don't represent all men or even a small percentage of them. I am a freak. Not the bragging kind like “Oh, I am so different than any other man you have met” but more like a “Oh, god, I am so different than any other man you have met please help me because if you treat me like any other man you've met chances are this won't last long!” Ask me again why I'm single. Ask me!!!

Dante Bitches About Cosmo Advice

Whenever I feel like angering my blood I know I can just go to Cosmo online and check out their advice column. They tend to give very long winded answers to questions I would answer in five seconds if a friend asked me. So I bitch about it. That is what this is. This time there were two that stood out. The way this goes is someone will ask a question, some Cosmo writer that hates women or is a social justice warrior will respond, and then I put in my two cents. Got it? No? You need more coffee.

Dante Bitches About Cosmo Relationship Advice

Cosmo is a site that I go to when I am finished ironing all my clothes, cleaning my apartment, getting my pubes on fleek, and doing everything else a grown ass man should be doing. There is this guy on there that answers relationship question that folks send in named Logan Hill that I've bitched about before because he tends to take a while to answer a simple question. I'm gonna do the same thing again where I take what someone asked and put his reply and then mine. I'll be shortening his replies because fuck all that. Its my blog.

Question: My boyfriend is a terrible sleeper. He tosses and turns all night, and he claims that he sleeps worse when I am there. Because of this, he only invites me to stay over on the two nights a week that he doesn't have to get up for work in the morning so we can sleep in. I hate leaving him to go home when it's a work night. It makes me wonder how we will ever eventually live together or get married if he hates sharing a bed so much. Is this normal?

Dante Bitches About Cosmo 12 Things a Guy Thinks Article

I hate Cosmo. Besides thinking that it is secretly run by gay men that hate women and want them to hate themselves I also think it is run by women that think men are idiots and post articles pretending to be men that say idiotic things women and men believe. I saw this article called 12 Things a Guy Thinks When You Sit On His Face that was allegedly written by a guy. I am not gonna post all twelve things because each one is equally stupid.

And by the way, I didn't pick that picture of Nicki Minaj. They did. That is the picture they choose to discuss what men think about when a woman is sitting on their faces. The picked a chick with a scary fake ass making a scary face singing what only I can imagine is a scary song. Some of you only clicked on this link because of that picture. Every chair she sits on becomes a throne of lies. I am gonna write a few things that I have thought because I can only speak for other men when it comes to mistakes. And the picture I use is way hotter. Let's begin.