Dante Bitches About Cosmo Advice

Whenever I feel like angering my blood I know I can just go to Cosmo online and check out their advice column. They tend to give very long winded answers to questions I would answer in five seconds if a friend asked me. So I bitch about it. That is what this is. This time there were two that stood out. The way this goes is someone will ask a question, some Cosmo writer that hates women or is a social justice warrior will respond, and then I put in my two cents. Got it? No? You need more coffee.

Question: When I have sex with my girlfriend, I just start hating her after sex for a particular period of time - at least three to four hours. When my desire arouses again, I want to have sex again with her, but the same thing happens after ejaculation is over.

Answer: I'm glad you wrote in. I'm sure you feel awful, but, first, let's be sure about one thing: This is not her fault. And no matter how emotional you feel, I hope you know better than to take this out on her or hurt her in any way. Sometimes, you can't help the way you feel. But you can control how you act. Don't hurt her.

Second, I want you to know that you can stop feeling like this: Just because you feel something intensely doesn't mean you can't change it. You can get to a place where you don't have these negative feelings about women. It won't happen overnight though. It will take effort and time.

Dante: You don't have issues. You have a subscription! I have never hated a chick after having the sex. Disappointed? Frustrated? Confused? Yes. Those I have felt before right afterward, but never hate. This is not some kind of postpartum for dick. The person that answered this tries to talk him down like he fucks his girl and then starts donkey punching her. You need therapy. 9 times out of 10 our mothers can be blamed for most fucked up sexual proclivities. I think that's the first time I ever wrote that word.

Oh, and good luck trying to explain that to your girl and then expecting sex anytime soon. Girls keep a hope box full of hate and they hope you bring some shit up regarding them. “Hey, babe. After we fuck I kinda hate you.” I've heard of hate fucking but its not after sex. Its premeditated and during. This guy is on some new shit. So yeah. Therapy.

Question: I've been with my boyfriend for over four years now. At one point in our relationship I cheated and he found out. Although we didn't break up, every now and then, he brings it up. This happened two to three years ago. I have asked him to forgive me on many occasions - sometimes we're all good, then he brings it up. I have reached the point that I can no longer continue like this. It drains. What should I do?

Answer: There's no black-and-white answer here. You hurt your boyfriend, and it's his right to feel whatever he's feeling: anger, resentment, suspicion - even paranoia. However, it's not his right to make you feel awful, over and over, about something that happened several years ago. There's a difference between processing feelings and acting out.

Like so many things, this is a question of degrees: There are healthy ways to handle those feelings, and terrible ways. I'd recommend that you tell him, in no uncertain terms, that this is really driving you crazy. He knows you're sorry. He knows you're faithful. And you know that you hurt him. Tell him that you're open to having serious conversations about his trust issues occasionally, but this can't define your relationship, and it cannot go on forever. This can't be a constant distraction in your relationship.

Dante: So this chick is tired of being with a dude she cheated on bringing up the fact that she cheated? Leave him! You cheated for a reason. Use that shit as your spiritual headlight and drive away. He's never gonna forgive you. I don't forgive shit. I'm a total dick when it comes to that. When does he bring it up? If you two sit down for dinner and the salad comes and he goes “Cant believe you cheated on me...” then its time to roll bounce.

I've been cheated on twice that I know of and each time I was given an explanation. Did I forgive them? No. But in one case I was so secure in my dick swinging skills that I used it to prove a point. I don't like the holding things over folks heads method because I want my friends and whoever I am boning once every two to three years to be comfortable. Bringing that shit up all the time is good for no one. He is too much of a pussbot to leave and you're too weak to take off.

Got kids? No? Leave! Its a boyfriend! Shit's not even legally binding after four years. Just go. Why do you want to waste time with someone that makes you feel like shit? Even if you got drunk and fucked someone else it means you just wanted to fuck someone that was not who you are with. I've never blamed liquor for my bad decisions. Okay. Dancing. Totally blame liquor for that. But never sex. Just prepare yourself, pack your shit, tell him you're done with him bringing this up, and go. What's he gonna do? Call you a cheater? That's already established. Doesn't make you a bad person.

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