Monday, March 20, 2017

Dante Vs. Nature 65

Sometimes I found out about an animal that use to exist and I go “Good. Now I can go to sleep.” An animal that I found about recently made me think this and it is known as an Entelodont or as its more widely known as a “hell pig” or “terminator pig.” Fuck this thing. I know I am getting mad at something that isn't real. Now you know how I feel when people curse the devil. 

This monster lived in North America, Asia, and Europe millions and millions ago so I'm pretty sure I'll sleep fine. It ate meat and plants and has been compared to vultures. So it would, like, stumble upon dead things and just start eating them. The big ass ones lived in Europe and North America and could get up to 6 foot 9 standing. Fuck every inch of that. It had a brain the size of an orange so I'm sure it was a completely docile creature. They, and by “they” I mean scientists that would probably recreate this monster if possible, say that this was closer related to whales and hippos than pigs. That don't even make sense. Are whales and hippos closely related? To the internets! Never mind. Its just some research papers with nerds arguing over DNA an' shit. I'll just stay happy that its gone. And next...mountain lions.

Click here for previous Dante Vs. Nature.

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