Whether you want to believe it or not, when you are a certain level of attractive you can get away with certain things in life more often than someone who is not genetically gifted physically. It also helps if you are a middle aged White woman who can wear the fuck out of some tight jeans. Seriously. That is a thing for me. If a woman can wear some tight ass jeans that look like they were sewn around her I get happy...in my pants. You should probably stop reading now if that upset you because I'm like reverse wine in a lot of ways. And I like women with mom bodies. This is 38 year old mother Brooke Lajiness of Michigan. She went to court a couple weeks back because she is accused of having sex with a 14 year old boy between eight and fifteen times (who's counting?) and sending butt booty ass naked pictures to one another. This began in the summer of last year. Know what I was doing summer of last year? Working and not even close to getting 38 year old White lady ass, that's what. I like her even in court. Not sure I like that shirt and scarf ensemble though. But no make up or jewelry? Tell me more!
Brooke is banned from drinking and using Facebook while she is out on bail. She is also being charged with thirteen counts of third-degree criminal contact, on count of furnishing obscenity to a child, and one of accosting a minor. Most of the sex took place in Brooke's car. Damn. A state trooper says he had been investigating this since February and that the boys' mother contacted him about this. Its crazy how bad this all sounds on paper. I mean, yeah. I know. If this was a guy he should totally be taken into the woods and hunted for sport like in that Ice T movie back in the day. Chances are she will get off with a tiny bit of jail time and maybe have to change neighborhoods.
One article that reported this made fun of the husband for sticking by his wife after this. They called him a cuck and if you don't know what that means congratulations. You stay out of the dumb ass parts of the internet that I manage to live in daily. He can be jealous and mad that some kid was slinging dick to his wife. But he knows. As a dude he knows that if he had the chance when he was younger he would've done the same damned thing. Especially if she was wearing them jeans. Whatever. I'm about tight jeans right now. I got through phases. I've seen so many yoga pants now that they don't even phase me.
Also a heads up for those of you in a relationship. Know your partners Instagram and Twitter accounts. Not the passwords, but what the fuck they are posting. There are girls that just post pictures of their asses. If you kids teacher or your own wife or husband has one chances are someone is trying to throw something their way. This woman has a ton of pictures online and her husband likely know. In one she is wearing a shirt that says “Its not gonna lick itself.” That shit is cute in private but don't post it online unless you want her to get dicked down by a stranger. Like me. I would kick a nun down a flight of stairs just to touch this chicks ass. I'm being very extra today.