Sunday, June 17, 2012

DVDiculous: Superman Vs. The Elite


Most people know from reading my blogs or talking to me that I’m not a fan of Superman. On my old Dark Nerd Strikes blog (which months ago was absorbed into this one and was absed on comic book related stuff and is accessed by clicking anywhere it says darknerdstrikes.blogspot.com) I talked about how if Supes was so great then he would take shit to a whole new level and do things like kill Lex Luthor and scare the hell out of criminals the way Batman does. Well, this film showed me what would happen if that were the case.

I pick things up and put them down!

Clark Kent and Lois Lane are enjoying a walk after watching a cheesy ass commercial starring Superman in an animated film when trouble starts. Oh, before I forget. The beginning credits for this movie rules ass. Superman starts fighting Atomic Skull who is a bit more powerful than the last time Supes fought him. Skull is turning people into ashes and Superman beats him and locks him away for the hundredth time. I like that Skull was a force and not just that dude with the flaming head he’s been for years.

"We're the good guys. Seriously."

Countries are at war and Superman flies overseas to stop an attack when a group of heroes (?) show up and help him out. Superman later meets up with them. They are led by Manchester Black who has psionic powers, Coldcast who has energy based powers, Abigail who has these creatures she uses that come from her body, and The Hat who is constantly drinking and pulls whatever he imagines from…a hat. I have to mention that The Hat is voiced by everyone’s favorite voice whether they know it or not, the one and only, Andrew Kishino!

This is not Andrew Kishino.

Superman tries to get information on these guys and cant find anything. Later they meet up with him and Manchester Black shows Superman what led him to getting his powers. Black’s sister was almost struck by a train after she and Black were caught stealing wallets to feed themselves. His new power manifested and he stopped the train and saved his sister. This new team, now calling themselves The Elite, start “helping” out by doing what Superman will not do. Kill folks.

Superman Punch!

After a public execution of Atomic Skull who breaks out of jail and starts killing even more people the people start to turn on Superman. Manchester Black gets cocky and broadcasts how he and his team will be handling the hard work since Superman wont do it. They start killing world leaders and promising to fix the world. Superman feels outdated and even Lois admits to wanting harsher punishment for criminals at times.

Moon fight!!!

Superman lets The Elite know that he’s not gonna stand by and let them kill whoever they want so they decide to have a battle on the moon. The Elite whip Superman’s ass! They pick him apart one by one until he is fried with nothing left but a cape. But he’s not dead. He tells them that he now knows that his ways don’t work and starts killing them. Manchester Black and Coldcast are teleported to Metropolis where they are scared shitless. Supes takes out Coldcast and tosses him into space. Manchester tries to fight back but Superman is now fucking evil!

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh circus!

Superman uses his heat vision to remove the part of Black’s brain that gives him his powers and did the same to the rest of The Elite. Turns out Black’s sister was alive and thinks her brother is a dick so she told how to defeat them. So Superman wins and all is right with the world. This movie was awesome. The voices, the music, and the animation was spectacular.

Ooh, you in trouble...

The Elite were totally a knockoff of The Authority. Black being Jenny Sparks, The Hat being The Doctor, Coldcast being Apollo, and Abigail being The Engineer. I didn’t mind though because it gave a glimpse as to how the Punisher type comic book industry changed the way we look at old fashioned characters like Superman.

1 comment:

Hoozle said...

Normally I would think that I probably couldn't sit through a Superman movie but this looks cool.