Thursday, September 27, 2012

Kids These Days 7


Remember back in the day when people would get high just from sniffing glue, eating paint chips, or rubbing cow udders on their elbows? Apparently that’s not good enough anymore. Allow me to introduce you to the world of 2C-1 aka Smiles because irony is the new fuck life. Yeah, that’s the name of this drug that sounds like the complete opposite of fun. Think of the best time you’ve ever had in your life. Okay? Now add sheer fucking terror to it and you’ll have this legal drug that the youths are now taking because fuck reasoning with those idiots.

If only every goddamn idiot wore their ignorance on a shirt.

This stuff works within two hours of taking it at small doses and last from four to twelve hours. That’s a lot of fucking time. That’s a day at work. The effects are mental, which is always groovy, but when taken in higher doses because seeing Death singing LMFAO songs isn’t enough it becomes a full out freakout fest in your head. Some side effects are vomiting, feeling like you wanna vomit, and muscle tension. Yeah, that sounds too fucking fun. Some also feel giddy and hyper for a few hours which translates to “I am gonna annoy the fuck out of anyone that can see or hear me for a while!” You pretty much become a human parrot.

Oonse oonse oonse RARWK! 

This whole thing is in the news because some kid was hanging out with his friend at McDonald’s after taking the drug because he felt the uncontrollable need to fuck up not only his mind but his bowels. He started shaking and growling and of course foaming at the mouth before smashing his head on the ground and then dying a couple hours later. Another kid was found facedown on the sidewalk after taking the drugs. Some kid on Youtube describe his experience like “…at first I'd think something was extremely beautiful and then it look really strange. I looked at my girlfriend's face for a minute and it was pitch black. The black started dripping out of her eye.” This isn’t some shit scientist sat around making!

"Nope. The kids are still alive. We need something stronger."

Did I mention that the effects of this can possibly last for an entire day? Could you imagine being…anything for an entire day?! I don’t want to be anything but alive for that long. Shit, even being horny for that long isn’t cool. This stuff doesn’t even show up in drug tests like most drugs that are synthetic so you can take your dumbass kid to the hospital because they tried eating the ceiling fan butt ass naked and covered in cat shit you’ll never figure out why. I say its god’s will. Just let your ridiculous child go and start fresh with an adopted Kenyan.

Click here for past Kids These Days.

No comments: