Sunday, October 20, 2013

Old School Cereals

Cam sent me this Yahoo article about these old cereals that they wish would come back. Now, my parents will never win an award for best parent of the year, but they were good at getting cereal that was full of sugar that lasted for a few months or until the movie came out or the cartoon was canceled. The sad thing is that I've eaten every one of these cereals on the list.

I've decided that I'll show all the ones they've listed and give my take on whether or not they need to be brought back because they're a few that tasted like complete ass. Let's begin!

Dunkin' Donuts


I can vaguely recollect this one but as soon as I saw the box I thought “Oh, I remember this!” What I remember mostly is that they were hard and that there is absolutely nothing Dunkin' Donuts anywhere near me. Should they bring it back? Not really. Particularly because I cant even tell you if it was good or not.

French Toast Crunch


This isn't even an old cereal. While this tasted good, my god, did it make me gassy! If I ate a bowl (or two) of this I knew that I was not gonna be leaving the house for a while. It had an egg-like taste to it that made it taste like real French toast. Should they bring it back? Nope. One, it isn't even an old cereal. And B., there are enough foods in my life that make me damn near float to the ceiling.

Hidden Treasures


No! Lord, no! As soon as I saw this picture I had a terrible flashback to being so happy that a box of this was brought home and damn near shouting when I took a bite of it. How can I describe it? It was like eating Mini Wheats with a gummy center...in milk. It was gross and shouldn't have even existed. Now I know why a robot is on the box: only a machine could think this was a good idea to serve children. Should they bring it back? Fuck no!

Ice Cream Cones


Yes! A thousand times yes! This had a malty taste to it and was super sweet and crunchy. No other cereal I've had since this has tasted like this. God, I would use a time machine and grab a few boxes of this if I could. Fuck killing Hitler. Should they bring it back? Are you kidding me? Of course!

Pop Tarts Crunch


Ew! This one tasted like hard ass tiny versions of its namesake. This cereal seems like a gag gift. It swelled when it soaked in milk and had that strange strawberry filling just like the real thing. I don't recall this one being around for long which is a good thing. Didn't give me time to find the factory and burn it to the ground. Should it come back? Shit, no.

S'more's Crunch


Oh, I just g'd in my p's! This tasted like someone added marshmallows and chocolate to Graham Cracker Crunch...which is pretty much how a real S'more is made. I've heard. I've never had a real one. But I imagine they tasted like this delicious cereal! It was very filling though and it was a battle to finish the bowl. Should they bring it back? Sure. I'd buy a few boxes.

Sprinkle Spangles


Now this was a bomb ass cereal. Not only did it actually stay crunchy for a long ass time after pouring in milk, it was even better when you ate it by itself. This is one of those ones that came and went very fast much like every other cereal in the 80's. Should it come back? Damn right it should.

Honorable Mentions

Crispy Critters


Nintendo Cereal


Nerds


Circus Fun

2 comments:

Sort of Camille said...

Wow. I remember seeing a couple of these back in the day, but I was just the opposite of you: The only cereals I liked were Rice Krispies and Raisin Bran. I got made fun of because of that. I think out of all these, I'd like to try Circus Fun and Ice Cream Cones.

Dante said...

Rice Krispies was a last resort for me that was immediately covered in sugar. Me and Raisin Bran have always had a love/hate relationship. Circus Fun and Ice Cream Cones were just amazing cereals that I really wish I could eat again.