New Hamburglar

I don't know who this asshole is, but I don't trust him. McDonald's released their image of the new Hamburglar and thank god he isn't Black. They released a new commercial for this guy that shows him in the backyard with his wife and son making burgers and he finds out that some new burger is coming out and he seems to suffer some form of PTSD and whispers “Robble, robble...” That burger he is holding isn't even something that place makes. I have eaten almost every burger that places makes and he is holding a lit. 

McDonald's has been updating their stuff the last few years. They changed the way Ronald McDonald looks and then they went too far and got a mascot for the Happy Meal that looks like something that would make you shit backwards if you saw it in your home. I'm not comfortable with change. New things make me nervous. This guy looks like someone at a Kanye West fashion show. For real. Look it up.

Mother Gets As Beaten By Another Mother On Tape

Latia Harris aka Alima Zawjatul Abdul Sabur, 25 years old, of New Jersey is on the run after whipping the ass of a former coworker of hers at McDonald's. Catherine Ferreira, 27, allegedly came by for a visit after accusing Latia of sleeping with one of the managers. Before the attack Latia had called Catherine telling her that the rumors about her sleeping with the manager could get her ass fired and that she was upset. Now, this ass kicking, at least to me, was very predictable. You say things like that about someone, true or not, chances are you're gonna get jumped. And Catherine was indeed jumped. There is video of this attack because that's the world we live in. While in her McDonald's uniform Latia had Catherine on the ground and was wailing on her as Catherine's 2 year old son watched and tried to help by kicking Latia in the leg, which of course did nothing. After beating her up Latia spit on Catherine and told people recording not to post the video online because yeah right.

So likely moments later it was posted online and cops are looking for Latia who has managed to vanish with her two kids. Yes, of course, she has kids. So now we have a 25 year old mother with two kids on the run after assaulting someone who is charged with terrorists threats because she threatened to shoot Catherine as well as aggravated assault which are both felonies and her bail even though she isn't in custody will be $35,000 fighting another mother whose son had to watch the whole thing go down.

Scary New Happy Meal Mascot

McDonald's released their new mascot for their Happy Meals today and his name is Happy. This thing creeps me right the fuck out. I heard about this on a radio show and thought “It can't be as bad as they are making it sound.” I was wrong. This goddamn thing eats souls. How much money was used to figure out how to make a Happy Meal scary? How many hours went into it? Either far too many or not close to enough. This nightmare instigator was created in France back in 2009 and has been spreading its wave of fear across the globe and eventually settling in America. Its like Godzilla. It is also a part of McDonald's new effort to push their healthier kids meals which are meals that if I had gotten when I was growing up would've caused a lot of pouting. “So instead of fries, a burger, and soda I get milk, an apple, and chicken McNuggets? Horray!” no child ever shouted.

McDonald's is trying to defend all the criticism towards their new thing you need to check under the bed for. “Social media is a great place to have a conversation and express an opinion, but not all comments reflect the broader view.” It is someone's job to downplay the medium that they've used to push new shit. This nonsense is on the heels of a new Ronald McDonald as well as Burger King changing their slogan from “Have it your way” to the strange “Be your way.” What the fuck does that even mean?! That sounds like something an asshole would say to be passive aggressive. “You wanna hang out with your friends instead of me? Fine. Be your way.” Fast food is dicks. True statement written terribly. Look at that damned thing. If I opened my door and this was standing outside of it I would pee a little. 

Only In Florida 10

Heidi sent me a link to this woman in Florida that ran out of shits to give and I think I'm in love. Sandra Suarez, 41, who is a Colombian woman that has lived in Florida for the past 15 years. Video from a local McDonald's popped up online showing her in the establishment wearing nothing but a thong and flashing her glorious Colombian boobs. I have a thing for that country. Never want to visit though. Just admire it from afar like I do most women in my life.

Double double cheese cheese burger burger please.

This all started when she went into a Mickie D's and offered an employee head in the parking lot. He turned her down for whatever reason and as I sit here I can't think of why. I mean, she looks “clean.” Maybe it was her delivery. Either way he said no and she decided that it was clobberin' time! In the video she is pushing registers off the counter. Smashing the fridge door. Slamming her head on the counter. Throwing condiments all over the place. Then she dunked her head under the ice cream machine and downed some of it and then chilled for a few seconds just savoring this strange new land she was currently occupying. She later walks off camera and near the fryer which is good for no one.

A cop eventually showed up and she made sexual suggestions towards him. She was sent to a hospital, charged with resisting arrest with criminal mischief and then released on $7,000 bond. She says that if this whole thing gets to be too much for her kids that she may return to Colombia.

Women Don't Fight Fair 3

Some people are passionate about their food. I love food. I write about it, I think about it a lot because there's a fat man inside just waiting to burst out. But I can't say I'm as passionate as Shaneka Monique Torres who is 29 going on 42. She got mad when a Michigan McDonald's messed up her order and decided that the logical thing to do was fire a bullet at the place because when you want bacon at 3:10am you really want your damned bacon!

When I first read this story I was kinda puzzled. I figured that there had to be more to this than meets the eye. So Detective Dante got to diggin'! So the way it is told, Torres got her order wrong, shot at the place, and left. But there's more to it because most women that have this hairstyle are making big life changes. A blond haired Black woman that is 5 foot 7 and 256lbs. trolling McDonald's at 3 in the morning can't be that hard to find. There's, like, maybe three women that come through like that around that time of night. So cops were able to find her rather quickly and locked her ass up on $50,000 bond and charged her with weapons and discharging a firearm.

The girl that was working the drive through had her family interviewed and they said that she was still scared because she didn't expect that someone would fire through a window because of an order gone wrong. I assumed that that was shown in the training videos when you were hired.

Rosscast Episode 154: Teach Me Pay Me!

Rosscast Episode 154

The Rosscast

In this episode I rave about Werther’s Original’s candy, talk about a German company that has made vagina scented cologne (I shit you not!), facebook fucking up your chances of getting a job, paying punk ass kids to go to school, McDonald’s shakes causing gas, and Demi Moore lying out of her surgically repaired mouth. Click here to download this and old ass episodes and click here to download and subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Ba-da-bap-ba-bang!

Little Rock, Ark - When Nigel Haskett stepped in to defend a woman at the Little Rock, Ark., fast-food restaurant where he worked, police called him a hero -- but now that it's time to pay his ongoing medical bills, the restaurant's insurance company has essentially told him to be a hero on his own time.

Last August when a man walked in and allegedly began assaulting a female customer -- his girlfriend. The incident was caught on the restaurant's surveillance camera.

"He struck her in the face, knocked her down and that's when Nigel came to her rescue," said Lt. Terry Hastings of the Little Rock Police Department. Despite the burden of lawsuits and his injury, Haskett still believes it was the right thing to do and said he would do it again.

"I ask myself that question, many, many, many times over. Uh, yes sir I would," the former McDonald's employee said. "I just felt like that's the right thing to do…even if it would have killed me."

This guy needs a fucking medal of honor or something. The fact that he has to fight for some form of compensation is ridiculous. No, he is not required to save someone as an employee of McDonald’s. But as a human he did what was right.

I wont even go into what bullshit I believe insurance companies are. Was this guy supposed to just let the woman get beaten and keep cooking in the meantime? I don’t get it. We already live in a world where there are enough assholes and folks that just don’t give a damn to make a show called “What Would You Do?” in which they set up fucked up situations to see what we would do.

This kid has a $300,000 medical bill because he was shot three times doing what was right, not what was his job. I would hope if my lady, friends, or sister were being attacked someone would do something and not worry about if it was in their job description.

Rockets.

We Love To See Your Ass, Er, Smile!

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. - Here's some food for thought: If you have nude photos of your wife on your cell phone, hang onto it.

Phillip Sherman of Arkansas learned that lesson after he left his phone behind at a McDonald's restaurant and the photos ended up online. Now he and his wife, Tina, are suing the McDonald's Corp., the franchise owner and the store manager. The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home. The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned. Manager Aaron Brummley declined to comment, and other company officials didn't return messages.

No. the real answer is: If you take naked ass photos on your cell phone you’re a jackass. How many celebrities have done this and acted shocked when the pictures got out? Newsflash: If you own a cell phone that has the ability to take pictures, anyone with the will and knowledge has access to whatever you say, write, or shoot.
You can’t blame McDonald’s or their management because you’re a jackass trying to spice up your boring ass love life by using your phone to send naked ass pictures. See, I have no problem with people taking pictures of each other. It can be the hotness. What I have a problem with is taking the pictures, saving them, and leaving your phone laying around. His wife should’ve been like, “I swear to God if you leave this somewhere I will kill you for real.”
If he left the phone why didn’t he just hop back in his car and go get it? I don’t care of it was late. The fact that he talked to the employees means it wasn’t closed. Hop in your shit, drive down there, and hope no one looked at what you had in there. Idiot. I am so tired of people not taking responsibility for their dumb ass actions. Was it right that someone put the pictures online? No. Was it right that the husband is a forgetful jackass? No. But $3,000,000.00 for damages? Please. Moving because of this shit? Oh, come on, dude. Your wife can’t be that hot. Live with the shame like the rest of the world and move on. Rockets.