Drunk Driving Kid In Wisconsin

In Manitowoc, Wisconsin a 13 year old girl was pulled over by police for drunk driving a little bit before midnight. The car was pulled over because the lights weren't on and police discovered that there were five other kids under the age of 14 in the car. She also failed a field sobriety test. One of them was taking to a juvenile detention center, likely the one that was recently listed as a runaway. I can understand a kid stealing a car. They look cool and go fast. But getting drunk and then inviting five friends, one of whom is a runaway? Yeah but no. I don't think there has ever been a point in my life where I accepted that level of anarchy. I wish that there was more information given but since its a minor there won't be. I know it was her moms car but I want to know where she got the booze and how she gathered that many other kids dumb enough to go along with her plan. “Hey. I'm drunk, got my moms car, and a bad idea.” Sounds like fun! Jackass.  

Little Girls Attempt Murder To Meet Fake Character

Two young girls in Wisconsin were arrested for not being able to tell fact from fiction. Morgan Geyser and Anissa Weier stabbed a 12 year old girl they knew multiple times in a wooded area who were attempting to prove that a video game character named Slenderman was real. A biker happened across the victim just outside the woods on the side of the road called for police. The girls names have been revealed because they are both going to be tried as adults and charged with first degree intentional homicide. Usually in cases like this kids aren't tried as adults and their names are kept secret. The girl who was stabbed is in stable condition. “Many people do not believe Slenderman is real and we]wanted to prove the skeptics wrong” one of the girls told police.

Weier told police that she learned about Slenderman on a website called Creepy Pasta and then showed it to her equally crazy friend Geyser. The girls had planned to kill the victim for months and attempted to kill her last Saturday stabbing her 19 times. After stabbing her they walked through Nicolet National Forest for a while looking for the mansion that Slenderman lived in. Afterward, they planned on getting treats from the witches' gingerbread house, strolling down the yellow brick road, and catch the Muffin Man because fuck living in reality.

Women Don't Fight Fair 5

Oh, boy. This one here. I still don't understand why when people want someone killed they use outside help. Most times its an undercover cop or the person you have asked to kill someone is gonna turn you in to the law even if you offer sex. Regular sex is never a good tradeoff when there is a possibility of prison sex. The more you know. Jessica Strom, 33, from Wisconsin (don't ya know!) asked a pilot, who are known for their mad assassination skills, to kill her fiance.

Maybe I'm cynical but this doesn't shock me.

To entice him she offered him $1000 and sex. I could understand if this was to paint her house or drive her across country maybe. But not murder. This mother of three but I am guessing none are with her 49 year old man John Schellpfeffer asked the pilot who is an old classmate of his to kill him. She even supplied a map of his job and the routine of the neighbors. Jessica told him that he could “blow his brains out and walk out.” What a delicate flower this one is. They set up a meeting in person where she asked him if he would ever kill someone. He told her no and instead of just nodding and enjoying being out of the house she kept pushing it by asking what it would take for him to do it.

Shit Just Got Real 6

I was watching this news story a few days ago about this chick, Melinda Slick, and how she got told off by a bus driver. In late August while on the bus Slick complained to the driver about how cold it was on the bus. She sat there with her arms tucked into her shirt and eventually got off the bus. There were some more words between the two and before Slick got off the bus the driver said to her "As long as you’re short, fat and white, you will not speak to me like that again."

In an interview Slick said that she was "completely speechless. I didn’t know what to say. As soon as I stepped off the bus, I lost it. The tears just started flowing. I have struggled with my weight my whole entire life. I’ve been bullied and picked on all through school because of it." I've spoken before how it is to ride buses here (click here to read my Five Things I Learned Riding The Bus) and how you are at the mercy of the drivers. You can talk shit to them all you want but they can also choose to kick your ass off the bus.

Kids These Days 15

Remember when we were little and kids would steal things like toys, candy, or baseball cards? Well, them’s the old days! Kids are now stealing condoms and candy at knife point! Three 13 year old jackasses were arrested for robbing a Walgreen’s in Wisconsin because when you’re 13 condoms are very important. You would’ve given me a condom when I was 13 that shit would’ve been dust by the time I got to use it. For real. Dust.

The manager saw these assholes stealing candy and when he went to confront them, which cops say to never do but as someone who worked retail and confronted thieves is fucking fun, and when he said something they threw a $15 box of condoms at him and brandished knives. $15?! Damn. Were they Louis Vuitton condoms?! Anyhoot, they screamed at him “Don’t you call the fucking police!” because that always works. The cops caught them and they all had steak knives. Here’s a composite sketch.