Dear Dante,
Hey, dude. Yeah, I’m twice your current age and I still talk like this. Right now I know what you’re going through. You go to school and think of nothing but getting home. Then you get home and all you think about is not wanting to be there. The yelling. The fighting. The drinking. Being told that you’re an ugly kid and too skinny. I know, it sucks. But let me tell you: shit gets better.
After high school you have a string of very shitty jobs. Bear with me. You clean up bodily fluids in a hospital, work at two pet stores, sell porn for seven years, read scripts, move dead bodies, work in a mail room, and then transcribe before becoming an associate editor for one of the highest rated shows on television. Oh, and you still draw. You don’t give that up. On top of that you write for nine blogs! Yeah, blogs are like public journals sorta. And you make your own short films and podcasts. Podcasts are like your own personal radio show where you say whatever you want. I know you hate your voice but a lot of folks really like it!
I’m sure you’re wondering about sex the entire time you’re reading this. Well, let me tell you…you lose your virginity and end up being cheated on. Then you date a girl for four years that breaks up with you but doesn’t tell you. Uh, then you date a woman ten years older than you from Mexico that cheats on you. Then a girl addicted to drugs and alcohol. Then a Jesus freak. Shit. Okay, lets forget about girls for now. But just so you know, you do have sex and it gets way better!
I hate to break this to you but in six years Kevin dies. It was unexpected and you feel like shit afterwards but you do learn to laugh at things again. Yeah, you become far more cynical than you are now but you manage to enjoy life again. But then Grandma and Grandmama die years back to back. But for real, it does get better.
You will get some very amazing friends. Try not to piss them off by keeping too many of your problems to yourself. Oh, and did I mention that most of them are chicks? Hot chicks? No, they don’t like you “like that” but its fine because you’re so obsessed with keeping yourself busy that you think of sex on almost a Spock-like level. Its cool when it happens but you don’t think about it as much as you do now. Be nice to these friends because they keep you from going insane.
And one last thing before I go, keep wearing your jackets. No matter what assholes say about it keep doing it. Keep talking the way you talk (you’ll start cursing in a few years). And stop worrying about being too skinny. At one point you will be a hundred pounds heavier than you are now. You lose all that shit though so its cool. Oh, and you finally get facial hair!
Love,
DDR
P.S - You will end up about three inches taller than you are right now and with tattoos. Yeah, you think they’re stupid now but you’ll change your mind. And you get fucking Wolverine claws!
5 comments:
I hope you don't mind me commenting on your blog again, especially such a personal entry. I just found this very thought provoking. It's obvious you had a hard time growing up (growing up isn't easy for anyone I guess, and some have more shit to deal with than others) but being able to write to the 'you' growing up in such a thoughtful and measured way shows you have processed all that really well. And I realised I have no idea what to say to my 16 year old self, because I haven't processed it. I barely remember who I was at the time, but I'm making myself remember and it's difficult, but manageable and definitely useful. I know I'll have really a handle on it when I have enough -wisdom, I supposed, adult and emotional wisdom?- to be able to write something like this to teenage me. So thanks I guess, this is a good tool for me to have in mind to figure out where I'm at. It always helps to compare yourself to someone who already knows where they're at.
Another thing that made me think is 'keeping problems to yourself'. There's a difference between talking about problems and complaining about problems, and it sounds like you know the difference. I forgot the difference for a while. Talking is useful and makes things better, complaining is useless, annoying and makes things worse. I'd forgotten that, but something about the way you said about not 'keeping problems to yourself' and having friends that keep you sane made me remember it.
As for never being a celebrity, you might never be on the cover of People (never say never) but your talents are recognised by some, and I have no doubt you will continue to make things happen for yourself. And even if your talents never get all the recognition they deserve, at least you now have in a job that capitalizes on many of them. I think that's the most a successful and content person can hope for.
That's all I guess.
Could you imagine if I was like "How dare you comment on my blog?! YAARGH!!!" I always forget how many A's go in Yaargh. The good memory helps with being able to say to a younger version of me what to expect. Its cool at times but sucks most of it. But at 16 I felt super trapped. I wish I had gotten a job earlier and planned things out. I'm still like that in a lot of ways where I don't plan too much and try to go with things as they come.
As for keeping things to myself, I still do it way more than I should and its not fair to my friends. Its not that I'm singing and dancing when they are around and break down in tears when they leave. I just keep away from them when I need to work things out. I'm getting a little better though about telling people what's on my mind. Usually late but still.
If I'm ever on the cover of People magazine it will probably be for stalking Rosario Dawson. They'd have a picture of me mid-sneeze looking like a psychopath. Film yourself sneezing and freeze frame it. Yeah. Loony toons. Thanks for commenting and let me know when you get around to writing to your younger self.
Thank you for responding. I think one piece of advice I *would* give myself would be to stalk celebrities when given the opportunity -DO walk ten minutes down to that baseball field and watch George Clooney pitch a ball, DO go see that Liam Neeson movie being made, you may get an opportunity to lick his face, and DO go see Colin Farrell open that music awards ceremony, although be careful not to slip in the inevitable pools of testosterone and alcohol. Oh well. :)
After my last video I realized that me and Liam aren't on speaking terms. Why would you lick his face...? There are no celebrities I could have been near to stalk. I do live near the principal from Ferris Bueller. His is gigantic!
I watched the video earlier, and my first thought was 'Mel Gibson is pretty harmless really, but Liam Neeson would be trouble...'and then alas, Liam did call. Why would I lick his face? I can't explain it but it seems like the thing to do. I have a list of people whose faces I would lick. Liam is in the top three spots. It could happen yet. Dublin's pretty small and always has some famous person or other visiting so it's hard not to stumble across them one way or the other. I recently accidentally slammed a restaurant door on a well known Irish stand-up comic, an English soccer star asked one of my friends to keep an eye on his kids while he ordered food in a cafe, and another friend met the Harlem Globetrotters in a pub earlier this year and then later than same evening found himself hanging out with Bruce Springsteen's back-up band. But don't you live in LA? I guess it's a big city and there's usually a layer of security between the stars and the actual human citizens...
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