Story Behind The Photo 3

Meet my lovely lady. Back in 97’ or 98’ when I was still thin, couldn’t really grow good facial hair, and was in a magically delicious relationship, I went to Halloween Haunt at Universal Studios for Halloween. I didn’t go on Halloween but around the time. I went with my ex and a few other friends and had a great time. This evening proved that if I think that I’m in danger “Women and children first!” goes right out the goddamn window! If you were in between me and an exit when I’m being chased you’re nothing but an object keeping me from safety.

When we got there they immediately start chasing your ass. Yeah, I got on some rides and stuff but I’ll be damned if I didn’t spend the entire night running from monsters, killer clowns, and dudes chasing you with chainsaws. Big, loud ass chainsaws. My friends and I ended up in a maze and as soon as it started I took the fuck off! I was using my friends purses as a way to pull them behind me so I could pass them. I ended up running full speed into a wall, bounced off, and kept going. If that wall was any thinner I would have plowed right through that shit.

We ended up outside and crashing through the ground breathing and laughing so hard that Frankenstein walked over and asked us if we were alright. At one point I bought a Sugar Daddy, one of the best candies in the world. We wandered over near the Waterworld area and a mermaid was being sawed in half and her guts shot a stream of water that hit my candy like I was using it as a shield. My friend said I could still eat it. Like I was gonna eat some nasty ass water gut juice off my candy!

I have been to the Halloween things at Universal Studios since and they have sucked (too many people, car damn near exploding on the way there, people vomiting in line) and at Knott’s Scary Farm (way too many people!). I don’t need to go back. Its one of those things that once you do it once you don’t have to again. Like anal.