Dante's Fuckit List Entry 1

"List all the things you do not need to do before you die."

And this is how it all begin. Comedian Michal Ian Black a few years ago started on Twitter what is called a Fuckit List. Its pretty much the opposite of a Bucket List which is a list of all the things you want to do before you die. The Fuckit List consists of the things that you don’t want to or have no desire to do before you die.

When a friend told me about this earlier this week I couldn’t stop laughing. Most of my life is a Fuckit List of explanations of why I don’t want to do the things that people keep telling me that I have to do no matter how many times I tell them I don’t want to. So here’s the first of what will likely be over a dozen entries since I tend to bitch a lot about the thing I don’t want to do.

Go To Africa.

Back in the 90’s there was a point where it was so cool to be Black. Between the whole Malcolm X resurgence that Spike Lee started and not being to attend any event without seeing people in kente cloth you couldn’t hide Black pride. This eventually translated to “My brother. You need to go to Africa!”

If you know me then you know I don’t travel. I hate leaving where I am. But for whatever reason people don’t hear it when I say it. “You need to travel more!” I respond with “I don’t want to.” Now, if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d leave it at that. You don’t wanna go, cool. Not a problem. But people still think I have to travel! Especially to Africa!

Nothing against the country, but you scare me. Africa is second only to Australia to me in places that legit scare me. With Australia it’s the creatures. With Africa it’s the creatures, traditions, and the laws. If I could travel it would be as a spirit where I didn’t have to worry about kidnapping or murder. Yes, there are places where that doesn’t happen but I don’t want to think “Damn, if I go three miles that way I could die!”

I’ve been called ignorant for not wanting to travel here. Kiss my ass. Tell me about traveling to Mars and I’ll listen. But Africa and everything else is still on Earth. Its not special to me. Its just not. I was built this way for a reason. I like to believe that I’m the spirit of California. I left once and felt terrible. Yeah, it was to Vegas which people consider L.A Jr.

So don’t tell me to travel. At some point I know I’ll get around to it. But telling me what I’m missing out on by not traveling does not make me want to do it. It makes me stare off into the distance and watch old Bugs Bunny cartoons in my head until you stop talking.