My Childhood Halloween Costume

When I was little Halloween was one of those holidays that was more exciting in thought than execution. Like butt sex. I would beg for a costume and most times get nothing but some fangs and blood capsules that I was afraid to use because I just knew I'd be that dumb kid that swallowed them. Honestly, the only costume I can even think of was this Skeletor one that I got. Took me forever to find an image of one since I figured everyone who ever wore it still lives with the embarrassment of it.

Fear me!

When my mother brought this home I screamed like a little girl. The costume consisted of a mask that was held on to my face with a thin rubberband that broke within minutes of being used. I walked around with one hand holding on to the mask. The outfit was one of those old fashioned plastic ones that I'm pretty sure is no longer made due to fire hazards. As cheap as it looks in hindsight I felt pretty badass when I wore it.

This is what my brain saw.

Trick or treating when I was little was me waiting for the sun to go down so I could start getting some candy. My mother hates a lot of people so even though we knew everyone that lived on the street we could only go to like three to five houses. Mr. Bros, Miss Brian, Mr. Green, Mr. Collins, and Ms. White. My mother would force my brother Luther to take us out which meant that trick or treating lasted about five minutes. Then we'd come home to dig through our candy to see what we got. I prayed that someone put some Snicker's in there! After all the candy it was time for some good ol' castor oil!

Yeah. My mother would wait until my stomach was full of awesome and then shovel a mouthful of this shit down my throat. It wasn't like she'd do it over the sink or anything. As soon as it hit my tongue I'd puke right in the hallway. Most years we didn't dress up but I'd still eat candy and get the castor oil treatment. I haven't drank that stuff in years or trick or treated. I have a jar of candy at work that I didn't have to ask strangers for and I wear costumes year 'round with Doom Mates so I think it all evens out.