Monday, December 14, 2015

Kids These Days 61

There are some things that I had to do as a kid in school that I'm not sure is allowed or legal anymore. Not just because kids are more likely to talk about their feelings and have their parents actually give a damn. But mostly because I'm pretty sure some of this stuff was mentally and physically bad for you. Here are a few that I thought of.

Clapping Erasers. This was a total bullshit punishment that I had to do quite a few times in the 2nd grade. My teacher Miss Webb (the one with the melted fingertips that I've mentioned in the past) hated me and made it no secret. She would make me go to this small balcony area outside of the classroom and clap together two erasers from the chalkboard. It would create this terrible cloud of chalk and you'd look like you were in an orgy with three Pillsbury Doughboys. 

When other kids would pass by they knew that I'd done something to piss a teacher off if I was clapping erasers together. I'm not even sure if schools still use these and not dry erase boards. Do they? If they do I doubt any teacher is getting away with making kids these this anymore. This is so rare now that I couldn't even find a decent picture of it happening!

Standing In The Corner. This was one of the worst things to have to do in class if you were a kid that cared about things like public shaming. I had to stand in the corner, with this same teacher, but my friend didn't care. He would somehow know when the teacher wasn't looking and start dancing. I would stand there and just stare at the corner thinking of what cartoons I'd watch later while kids would laugh at me. 

I know this was supposed to shame me but all it did was make me want to stop coming to school. All a teacher had to do was say “Go to the corner!” and for the rest of the day every kid would do nothing but talk about the fact that you just stood in the corner. There was no internet. Its what we did for fun. You know what? I think this would be  abetter punishment for lazy ass adults at work than for children in school. 

Standards. These were the devil! For a kid like me writing the same thing like “I Will Not Talk In Class” over and over a few hundred times would drive me nuts. And was a waste of paper. If you were smart you would take the “I” and the two L's in “Will” and just drag the pencil down in a straight line. You kids still use pencils these days? 

By the way, whatever I had to write standards for didn't stop because I had to do standards. It just made me hate the teacher that much more. There was a few times where I'd have to stay after school to finish these and I'd wonder if the teacher wanted to leave school or if they stayed there and had no home. Yes. I thought that happened when I was little. I was stupid and smart at the same time. 

Dodge Ball. This wasn't punishment so much as entertainment for adults. Just get a bunch of kids lined up against the wall and have other kids throw balls at them. I know that some kids played it where there were teams. Not at 49th St. Elementary! We would be up against the wall and other kids would just chuck the ball at us until there were no more kids left. 

Those that still wanted to play or were in good enough shape to continue would then be the ball throwers. And guess what? We sucked. We sucked hard. We would waste time trying to get the one kid that was nailing all of us not realizing that not only was he good at throwing balls, he was good at dodging them and likely grew up to be a criminal. If your kid is good at dodge ball they are future felons. 

Click here for previous Kids These Days.

No comments: