If there's one thing nature loves more
than making humanity change the color of their pants its coming up
with weird ass new creatures. There were these two new spiders
discovered because if there's one thing I always say its that we do
not have enough goddamn spiders on this planet.
This first one is called a
Sparklemuffin. I'm not kidding. That's its name. Some college student
that helped discover it named it that because they ran out of Pokemon
names I guess. They are jumping spiders which are common and those
kind that you try and catch thinking its gonna run away and it ends
up jumping and making girls and men that thought they were not afraid
of spiders yelp.
The other has a science name of Maratus
Sceletus but is nicknamed Skeletorus because it looks like a damned
skeleton! Its death! They say its because of the way it looks but I
know better because skeletons aren't black. Don't try and fool me,
nature! Like that living box of Fruity Pebbles above its a jumping
spider. These things also don't catch prey by using a web. They hunt
and stalk. Sons of bitches.
The last one is a type ray spider. They
don't use their webs to catch other insects the way we're used to.
You know, the old flying into the web technique. No. These assholes
are on some new shit. They're on that new new. They stretch their web
back and when something is near that let it go and that shit
slingshots at their prey. That's not fair to them. Or me.
Click here for previous Dante Vs.
Nature.
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