“Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.'”
Adam scared every animal in the immediate vicinity with a screeching yell as he woke to find a very important part of his anatomy was...shortened. Adam rushed past Eve and headed into the forest screaming the entire time.
“God!” he shouted. Thunder. Lightning. Smoke. God.
“Is there something wrong?” He asked.
“You notice anything different?” Adam asked.
Remember when God told Adam that he would need a piece of him to create someone else for Adam? Well, God decided to remove a foot and a half from Adam's penis. When God originally created Adam he wasn't sure if it was too long. He knew that Eve was terrified of it most nights.
“Oh...right” God said. “Look. You didn't need all of that. And don't argue with me. I'm God.”
“I know, but, come on” Adam protested. “Can I have some of it back?”
“No” God said. “I was able to do some good work with what I took from you.” Adam sat down on the grass staring at where his front tail once would tap his knees when he walked amongst the wolves. Leopards would bat at it playfully whilst he laughed. “You'll meet him later on. His name is Chip.”
“Yes” God said. “He's brand new so you're going to have to show him around the garden a bit. Introduce him to Eve and the kids. Just don't...leave him alone.”
“Why not?” Adam asked.
“Don't question me!” God shouted and disappeared. Thunder. Lightning. Smoke. Glitter?
“Hello” a voice said from the bushes. Adam turned, startled. “Are you Eve?”
“Uh...no” Adam replied. “I am called Adam. You must be Chip.”
“Dude” Chip said. “This is fucking insane.” Chip immediately began chasing every animal he could. Lions ran away nervously. Wolves howled in fright. Bird flew away. Chip took a mongoose and wrapped it around his neck. “How's it look?”
“Are you okay?” Adam asked, obviously concerned.
“Whoa, your dick is, like, really small!” Chip shouted before rushing over to Adam and slamming their penises together. Adam jumped away from Chip and discovered a new emotion: fear.