Monday, May 5, 2014

"God Created Chip" Part 1


“Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.'”

Many know of the tale of Adam & Eve. God made Adam and figured he needed a mate so he created this chick, Eve. Next thing you know they have a couple of kids named Kane and Abel. But what historians have failed to mention is man's first buddy. His name was Chip.

A few months after the Earth was created God saw Adam wandering through the woods enjoying all of His glory. Adam sat down near a lion that was rolling on the ground with a lamb and smiled. Moments later he looked up to the sky and talked to God.

“I am so bored!” Adam cried. “That is what I am calling this...feeling. Bored.” God appeared before Adam startling him because as we all know, God can not appear without theatrics. After the thunder quieted and the smoke settled God walked towards Adam who dropped to his knees.

“Oh, get up, Adam” God said. “What is this 'bored' you speak of? I don't remember making that.”

“It's...” Adam began before sighing. “I can't explain it. I need someone to talk to. I mean, you made Eve and I thank you for that. That was pretty cool of you. But...I don't know. There are some things I can't talk to her about.”

“What about your boys?” God asked.

Boys?” Adam pondered. “Huh. So that's what they are called. Anyways, there are things I want to discuss but I don't think they're appropriate for the boys to hear.”

“How about me?”

“Uh...no” Adam said. “There are some things I don't think you should hear.” God raised His eyebrow. “I know you hear everything. I just...can you make someone else for me?”

“Have another kid” God suggested. Adam moaned, scaring the lion and lamb who ran into the forest. “What?”

“Another 'boys' is not the solution” Adam said. “Can you make another...me?” God rubbed his beard and tapped his foot. “I just want someone to talk to that isn't Eve, my boys...”

“Or me” God finished. “Okay. I'll do it. Give me a day.” God began to walk away when he stopped and snapped his fingers. “I almost forgot! I'm gonna need a piece of you.”

“Excuse me?”

“A piece” God repeated. “I made Eve from a rib. To make another you...well, that's gonna take some serious work. You have anything to trade in?” Adam pat his pockets that didn't exist yet and shrugged. “It's fine. I'll figure something out.”

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