Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Wine Chronicles

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I am a little bit drunk so I will just write whatever comes to mind with no regard to spelling until later in the morning. I love how when I am drunk I type faster.

My friend Michelle came by and gave me some wine for my birthday. It had my name on it and that’s awesome. She brought her kid by and its so crazy knowing someone you went to school with and now all of a sudden there’s a little person that came from them. That’s crazy. I don’t have many friends that have kids so I am still getting used to it.

Speaking of my birthday, I am kinda bothered by the folks that didn’t wish me a happy birthday. One of them in particular I went to their party for two years in a row and gave an awesome ass gift both times yet they have the nerve to not even myspace me or send me a message. Bullshit. You suck. Like, it doesn’t take much to just give me a call. Whatever. You stink and I’m not getting you shit this year.

I have cool ass friends. Like, a lot of folks have shown that they are true ass friends since I have been out of work. Some more than others. And its cool as fuck. When I am back on my Black ass feet I will be sure to take acre of them. I am so gonna make then proud to be my friend. When I look good, they look good. Kinda like the old shampoo commercial.

I remember that comedian Louis CK saying that his wife would have sex with him so that she wouldn’t “end up in the papers.” I gave up on all my porn a while back and feel sometimes like one of those pressure gauges that will explode. I also think this is why I can grow a decent beard now.

Self censorship is total bullshit and is only helping in the “pussyfication” of the planet! Yes, that’s a new word and you are free to use it. You may also use “stutarded”, “bitchwich”, and “shitarific.” Life is too long to be running around trying to be sensitive to everyone. Fuck that.

This wine is fucking awesome by the way. Look at the picture. That’s it. This shit will get ya drunk! You’ll be fuckin’ fat bitches in no time! Mmm-mmm, bitch!

Rockets!

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