Saturday, June 13, 2015

Kids These Days 56

Back when I was little fights would happen for close to no reason Well, no reason as an adult but as a child these were considered fighting words. As a grown up people will scream “Fuck you!” at other people while driving in their cars knowing full well they wouldn't do it if they were face to face with them at a grocery store. There was no internet when I was little so if you had something to say to someone you did it to their face or told that one friend that repeats everything you tell them even when they promised not to.

Ya Mama. Oh, shots fired! (loud Jamaican horns) Even if you didn't care for your mother all that much just having someone reply to a comment with those two words was enough to get a fight started. You would always keep this one loaded in the chamber during an argument with other kids. 

Often times if someone just kept talking shit you could just keep replying with “Ya mama” or “Yo mama.” No matter what they said, even if saying it made no sense, for some reason it would work. Sometimes too well because the next thing you know you're rolling on the ground with a kid that you know haven't bathed in days before being pulled apart by a teacher. I don't even think there is an adult translation of “Ya mama.” If you meet an adult that is angered by this phrase chances are they have spent time in jail or stopped making their own thoughts when they were about 10 years old. Bonus points if their mother wasn't around or if she had an afro with a chinstrap.

Moded. Pronounced mow-dead. This is one you will likely never hear unless you're around people 34 and older acting silly. It was usually used in the sentence “You got moded” or the much feared “You got moded. Corroded. Yo mama exploded!” Now, exploded wasn't pronounced the proper way. It was said like explo-dead to make it rhyme. It was used in a very shameful ass way. If you thought there was candy waiting for you and got there and everyone had some while you didn' just got moded. 

When you were labeled as moded there wasn't much you could do about it except wait for it to wear off which sometimes lasted until the next day. Just when you thought you were no longer moded someone would remind someone that wasn't around that you got the stank of moded on you and it'd begin again. It was even worse if your mama exploded. Nobody wants that.

Two-Faced. When you said this, usually pronounced “two face-ted” because the 80's, you were set to fight someone. You wouldn't say this to someone and expect to just walk away without a brand new human backpack. This was usually applied to people that talked shit behind your back and you found out from that kid that loved to tell on other people. 

Even calling someone two-faced that wasn't around was a bad thing because it was such a strong accusation that the other person would hear about it and confront you. And you better have an example of their two-face-tedness otherwise you were a liar and being a liar was just a little bit better than being two-faced. I saw a lot of fights happen, mostly between girls, because of this. And it was awesome because their tops would come up.

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