Dude, What The F**k?!

There are a lot of ways I think I can die. The image above is not one of them. Cars hitting me. A far too enthusiastic sex partner. Giraffes. Just so many. But having my damned draws (underwear for you laymen) choke me out isn't one of them. I mean, you would never expect this to happen even on your worst day. Pretty sure Denver Lee St. Clair didn't expect his grown ass 33 year old step-son Brad Davis to wedgie him so damned extremely that he died.

Hey.

“I'd never seen this before, but when we first looked at our victim seeing the waistband of his underwear was around his neck” Pottawatomie County Sheriff Mike Booth Booth said. I would hope not! That's not some shit that should ever be common. St. Clair had damage done to his face meaning that there was a fight that took place. The cause of death is being listed as blunt force trauma to the head and asphyxiation. That first part is just to make family feel better because no one wants to walk around knowing that their family member died because his draws killed him.

Now when I was growing up we called wedgies Murphy's. I've heard them called Melvin's as well which is just strange. I'm not a chick so I don't know what it is like to get one of these and have a vajayjay. But as a dude there is nothing like having your draws slice into your ass and crotchal region. I didn't even know that underwear could go so far that they could wrap around a neck. Those are either some really good or really bad underwear.

Or really fun!

The old man St. Clair wasn't some innocent saint. In 2008 his wife filed a permanent protective order against him after she saw her husband embraced in what is described as a “sexual way” with one of his friends he drank with. Then he grabbed her by the neck and threw her through a bathroom door. The wedger, Davis, is a ex-Marine. So you mix these two fellas, some beer drinking, and a little bit of deer chili (that is a thing!) they got into it over St. Clair talking shit about Davis' mom and the next thing you know a fight breaks out and someone is on all fours dead with their waistband around their neck. Davis told the cops that St. Clair was on the ground “still moving and moaning” when he decided to go Super Saiyan on his ass and yank his draws over his head. He faces life in prison if he is convicted. Thanks to Quinno for bringing this madness to my attention.