Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Dude, What The F**k?! 7


I have seen quite a few movies where someone on a plane starts shit for whatever reason. Usually for some political cause or money. But in real life it tends to be because someone decided to get hammered and turn into a one man frat party in the sky which needs to become the title of a new movie. Meet 23 year old Orion Koshinsky. While on a flight from Boston to Fort Lauderdale he stood up and made an announcement to the passengers on the plane.

“I want to make sure everybody on the plane knows that I'm in the military and you can buy me drinks. I'm in the military, what can I get for free?” So because people feel guilty for not serving in the military or because they somehow forget that not everyone that has served deserves anything free they got him some drinks. Now, I can understand one, maybe two drinks. But after three drinks Orion decided it was time to act a fool. He threw someones bag in the aisle and screaming and cursing at people.

Pictured: the reason why grandma was late to your birthday party.

When a flight attendant tried to unbuckle his seat belt and get his ass somewhere else on the plane he said “Don't touch me, I'll kill you.” The flight attendants wanted to try and restrain him but figured that it would just “set him off.” Has the definition of “set him off” changed? Last time I checked if you are screaming and causing a ruckus on a plane the off has been set!

The captain of the plane decided that Orion was a “Level Two” threat and the plane landed in Jacksonville, Florida where he was arrested and charged with interfering with a flight crew. This is a felony that can get you 20 years in prison. It turns out that Orion was not in the military. Ever. He was just a drunk dude with problems. Orion was headed to rehab for drinking when he came up with this plan to pretend to be a soldier and get free drinks.

"If this muthafucka don't sit down..."

What a scumbag. “But, Dante. He has a drinking problem. It's a disease!” False. Super AIDS is a disease. Koala herpes is a disease. Booze ain't. It's science. You put this magically delicious liquid into your body and you become a new person. Sometimes the person is funny, social, and likes to have a good time. Other times it makes you into a loud asshole that ruins lives. I can only imagine what jail is gonna be like for him once the liquor wears off. That had to be a shitty morning!

Click here for previous Dude, What The F**k?! Posts.  

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