Its not very often I get to report a story like this. False. This is starting to happen more often. You know that thing when a woman attacks someone with a sex toy? Yeah. That old thing. In New Mexico 35 year old Cara Claffy who doesn't look a day over 64 attacked her 60 year old mother Sheryl Claffy with a vibrator aka a personal massager. I love that stores can just sell vibrators knowing good and damn well that thing will never be applied anywhere above the waist. But I digress.
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| Joy...and pain! |
The mother Sheryl was watching TV,
let's assume Murder She Wrote, when she and her daughter got into an
argument. Her daughter I imagine looked around the house for
something good enough to whack her mama in the head with. Me, I have
lots of stuff. A hammer, an iron, Voltron, my own penis, plenty of things. But Cara
decided that a vibrator was perfectly fine for this situation. She
said that after her daughter bonked her she felt blood coming down
her head and ran out of the house to call for help.
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| Just so much sexy. |
Her daughter, in her defense, says that her mother came out of a room and “that she had struck herself with a vibrator.” That's the oldest trick in the book! The bash yourself in the head with a vibrator and scream for help trick!
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| Luckily it wasn't one of these classic models. |
Cara tried to get away and her mother
said that she was hiding in a truck. The police just saw some dude
sitting in it (honest mistake) but that there was a bloody vibrator
on the floor. Ew. Let's pray that its from the same crime and that
New Mexico isn't littered with bloody vibrators. Cara was caught
leaving a house nearby and arrested for being a nasty ass mofo.
Or...aggravated battery on a household member and domestic violence
on $3500 bond. I did some research and she also has other drug
possession and child abuse arrests because parenthood.
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