Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Bucket (Fuck It?) List

We all know the movie. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman (my lady's private dancer) make a list of things they wanna do before they die or “kick the bucket.” I think I’m gonna make one of my own. Yeah, some of you may laugh and some of you may find yourselves horribly jealous. And you should be.

1. Learn how to do a backflip. I have always wanted to do one and even watched a video online to learn. I think I could do one without breaking my neck.

2. Powerbomb my father through a table. I don’t care how old he is I’m flipping his ass through a table. If you don’t know what a powerbomb is look it up. Its awesome. I’m talking a Vader style powerbomb. Who’s the man?!

3. Publish a book. I have more stories in my head than the ones I have written (and keep on myspace). I want everyone to read my shit and laugh, cry, be scared, or shit themselves. Either way I hope they read my stuff and cheer.

4. Wrestle one match. No, I don’t think I could make a career out of it at this point but I would love to bounce around a ring just once. I’ve been waiting years to try my “Season Finale” on someone.

5. 24 hour sex fest. Need I elaborate?

6. Have an entire week where I am too happy to think straight. I don’t care what I’m doing or where I am. I just want a full week of having fun. I think this will be my honeymoon one day.

7. Be involved in a bar fight. When I turned 21 I wanted to go to a bad ass bar and have someone start some shit with me just to get into a brawl. Yes, this seems very fun to me.

8. Sit in a theater watching a movie based off of one of my stories. I would sit in the theater just as if not more excited than anyone else there!

9. Choke someone out during a fight. I have knocked people on their ass but I have never knocked someone out cold with a submission hold. That is just embarrassing.

10. Sit with all of my brothers and talk about our lives growing up and figuring out why we turned out so differently even though we all grew up together (well, most of us).

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