Sunday, November 9, 2014

Dating Outside Your Race

Dating outside of your race can be a tricky thing depending on how you were raised, who you know, how your family responds to other races, and what your friends are like. I have never been told to my face by an actual friend that they had a problem with someone I was dating because of their race. Other things, yes. But not because of their race. Likely because my group of friends are all kinds of races. Black, White, Asian, Canadian. Yeah. That's a race now.

But I have heard from my mother that all I do is date White women. Even back in school this was an accusation that held no water since I couldn't even get a girlfriend consistently. But still the shadow of the White woman hung over my head.

When this is what I'd prefer hanging over my head.

One of the things I had happen is a few women tell me that Black men don't want to date Black women. We are scared of the power of the Black woman. The fact that they are opinionated. The sheer awesomeness of the Black woman! Eh...not exactly. I find that I'm not the type of guy many Black women are into. I've had Black women give me the stink eye when they saw me hanging with my female friends that aren't Black.

Look. If these women that gave me those looks talked to me for a minute they would realize that they don't want none of this. I'm not the typical Black guy. I'm not the typical 35 year old guy. There is nothing typical about me. I'm not gonna give you a challenge or excitement on a regular basis. I've told friends that I am perfect for a woman that is tired of running around and playing games. Women that hate on any race for dating outside their race is playing a game where no one wins. Races are mixed up. Deal with it. Hell, I keep saying that I'm Black but both of my grandmothers are Native American.

Lots of Black guys used to use the fact that they were dating a White chick as a status symbol. Comedian Patrice O'Neal once said “You know how you can tell how pretty a White woman is, the value? You look at her and then you wonder how long they would look for her if she was missing.” I find more often than not that women have lists of races they wouldn't date. Guys, not so much. I don't think its just because we'll fuck anything that lets us. I don't think we're as judgmental as women.

I'll talk to y'all in a few minutes...

Men are judgmental, yes. Not saying they aren't. But it tends to be over dumb shit like possessions we can't have or views on women. I think I am reinforcing that shit just by writing that sentence. But I think that women are judgmental about a lot more things. They care about the job a guy has. I've never cared where a girl was working and never ask. They care about how guys get along with their family and how they treat their mother. Me, I just wanna know how close a chick is with her dad. For one, I don't wanna be used as a tool to anger dad. And second, I don't wanna get punished for how shitty he treated her.

I don't have a list of races I wouldn't date so much as ones I know I have no chance with. Cultures that are super family orientated are almost automatically off limits. I'm not giving you a kid. I don't wanna meet your brother. I just wanna stay home, talk, watch movies, eat good food, and have as much sex as possible. It doesn't seem like too much to ask for.

I just want the dirty looks to stop. Its bad enough I get them for just having this skin color. I don't want the fact that I've managed to trick some poor girl of another race into sleeping with me added as well. Everyone needs to just abandon culture altogether. If I was running shit we would get rid of all that shit except for styles of clothes, food, and music. But anyone thinking that they are better than someone else because of where they were born, what language they speak, or how long their culture has been around would be done.

I think I'm done ranting.  

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