Wake up.
I don't want to move.
Wake. Up.
Not yet.
Initiate revolt of the stars.
“Okay, I'm up!” 35 shouted though
he did not move.
Stand.
“But...I'm comfortable” 35 whined.
He felt a slight tremble in the dimensional spectrum and quickly
rolled out of his hammock landing on the dock overlooking the sea. No
matter where 35 was assigned he would move towards the ocean. It
reminded him of home.
How goes the mission?
“Its going” 35 said as he shook
what was left of his tequila into his mouth. “You know, I don't
think we need to continue the mission. Everything is running smoothly
here.”
Really?
“Yeah” 35 replied. “I mean, its
not close to perfect, but what place is? You know? I think we should
give them another 400 years and see what happens.”
That is not up to you nor I to decide.
“I know, but...”
You have been there for 3,607 years,
two months, one week, and 45 minutes.
“That all?” 35 said with a smile.
Stop doing that.
“Doing what?”
That...thing with your mouth. Its
unsettling.
“Its called a smile” 35 said. “The
creatures here do it to show pleasure with things. You should try it
once in a while.”
I have no lips.
“Your loss” 35 said as he began to
stretch. He had no need to but it made him feel more like the
inhabitants of the planet. “Can I ask you a question?”
No.
“Why this planet? Why can't we
destroy, oh, I don't know, Saturn? No one is there.”
No one is there yet. Earth is the third
on our list of things to do. If we do as you suggest let them survive
another 400 years they will migrate to Mars and we'll have to send in
36.
“Ugh” 35 moaned. “No one likes
36.”
The former inhabitants of Mercury
surely did not.
“I heard a rumor about 36.”
A what?
“Rumor” 35 repeated. “Its a thing
where you say something that may or may not be true but you say it
anyway. The creatures here do it a lot.”
And what was this rumor you heard?
“That 36 pushed the sun closer to
Mercury to destroy it which in turn affected Venus as well just to
get a head start.” 35 waited for a response but got none. “So its
true.”
We do do not deal in rumor,
speculation, fiction, nor gossip.
“You should sometimes” 35 said.
“For instance, the creatures here worship a man that they believe
to be the son of a god.”
We got your reports.
“The funny thing is that I started
believing them!”
You were there, 35. You know it to not
be true.
“But he was so convincing...”
Enough of your nonsense. You're
stalling. You have until midnight Earth time to complete your task
otherwise we will have no choice but to deploy 36. And as you know he
will have no problem causing a revolt of the stars.
“I've known you all these years and
never bothered to ask your name.”
Transmission completed.
35 sighed and looked out to the sea. He
was currently stationed in Southern California. He liked it there. He
sat down on his dock and dipped his feet into the water and sighed.
He could not imagine initiating a revolt of the stars on a place like
this. Maybe he could bring just California with him when he returned
home he wondered to himself. He doubted he would be allowed to but he
could try.
“So long, Earth” he said while
popping open a can of beer. “You had a good run.”
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