There are a few reactions folks have
when I tell them that I don't have a cell phone. People that do not
know me well think that I'm some anti-technology weirdo that is
making a strange stance against the future. Some of my friends think
I am just being stubborn. Other friends know that I just don't need
one.
I think a lot of the fear that people
have of not owning a cell phone comes from an inability to take
responsibility for their actions. People show up late but think it is
fine since they can call, as they are running late, to explain that
they will not be on time.
How courteous of them.
People ask me “What if you need
directions?” I tell them that I check that information before I
leave the house. Then the next question is “What if you get lost?”
Look. This isn't the Old Frontier. If I get lost there is no chance
of me dying of starvation or being attacked by bandits. Plus, I'm a
grown ass man. If I leave the house and get lost I accept that
responsibility.
I fucked up. Sucks to be me.
Two times I have been in a theater with
someone that whipped out their phone. Not to check it for messages or
to answer a call (though that has happened and I don't see movies
with those people anymore) but to Shazam a song that was playing. I
asked them to put it away.
“I just want to know what song that
was.”
Are we at a point where waiting for the
credits to end and seeing the name of the artist, the composer, the
name of the song, and the music company that distributed it is that
hard to do?
Yes. Yes it is.
We like to complain about the attention
span of most of humanity. We give it names like the MTV Generation
and such but its not an issue that they deal with alone. Short
attention spans range from age 65 on down and is just getting worse.
No one thinks they have the time anymore. Most people will see this
link on my Facebook, Twitter, or Google+ and think “That Dante
posts a lot of shit. Oh, who's texting me?!” and not even bother to
read even half of this.
Too many words.
You will never hear me say that I do
not have the time. Even when I was working 50 hours a week and taking
bus rides that totaled five to six hours to get home a day I didn't
say “Oh, I don't have the time.” We all have the same amount of
time. We just use it differently.
Yes. I edited all these bad pictures. |
I know people who don't have a steady
job, no children, no relationship, and no massive social life that
are harder to get a hold of than friends that have spouses, jobs,
children, and actively leave the house for whatever it is you people
that leave the house do. We all get 24 hours to do whatever it is
that needs doing. But when someone says they have no time for
anything yet spend hours texting or staring at their phone they are
living in a special circle in hell that I wish to never occupy.
And it isn't as if you were forced to
get a cell phone. There was no government mandate that stated that
every American must have a cell phone. And don't get me started on
the city trying to get laptops and tablets into the hands of every
child in school. Most of them can't even read in the first place and
we want them having their own computers?
People work for their cell phones when
it should be the other way around. My favorite is the parent that
worries when their phone dies, breaks, or just decides to not work
because that is something cell phones do. “What if something
happens?!”
What are the chances that out of the
other 364 days of the year you had your phone and nothing happened
that something will happen that one time you forget it? And how many
parents are happy to see their kids call them? I'm not talking about
Nana in the nursing home you forgot about for two months until they
called to tell you she broke her hip for the third time even though
she only has two of the damned things. If there is an emergency
chances are your kid will post about it online before contacting you
anyway.
I think people feel bad for me when
they find out I don't have a cell phone. Especially new people.
“What? Why?” Its like I told them that I decided to get my tongue
split. This isn't like the few times in my life where I tried to get
a car only to have it blow up in my face. Not getting a cell phone
isn't even an active...thing. I just don't have one the same way I
don't have kids. Just never happened and I'm glad it didn't.
If I could describe what it is like to
not own a cell phone to the world I would describe it like this.
Remember when you used to hang out with
someone and talk? Not only did you talk but you listened and could
repeat what the other person said to you. Amazingly you could recall
it later on! You could hear the sound of their voice, the laughter,
the sadness. It was just you and them and if someone butted into the
conversation they were rude. An asshole.
Now everyone is the asshole. Well, not me. I'm a dick 90% of the time and asshole the other ten.
Since I don't own a cell phone when I
am talking to you I am also listening to you. I am hanging out with
you. I am experiencing you as a fellow human being. I do not have a
device that brings other people into the conversation. I have been told by a few people that it made them uncomfortable that they had my full attention. That is some sick, sad world shit. Imagine if you
will...another world.
You and I are having lunch. Its good.
Fuck a diet. Bacon everywhere. We're laughing and talking. You're
telling me an interesting story when suddenly a friend of mine walks
up. Not even a friend. A friend of a friends associate. They come to
the table and we start talking.
Not me, you, and them.
Just me and them.
We'll get back to your story eventually
and hopefully you can muster that same amount of passion and energy
that you had before you were interrupted. But I really need to know
what this person is telling me. Wait, hold on. We're still talking.
I'll get back to you in a minute. We're almost done. Wait. Someone
else just arrived. I don't like this person. I'm gonna ignore them
and continue talking to the first one. This story though! Oh, its so
funny, too! You want me to tell you what we're talking about that is
so funny?!
No.
You don't.
Things are fucked up now.
The conversation is ruined. You don't
want to finish your story? I don't know why you are so upset now. All
I did was share a funny story with someone that wasn't you in the
middle of you talking. Its fine. Its fine. Look around you. Everyone
is doing it! That table over there has three people talking to three
other people that just showed up. Sure, none of the three people that
came together are talking but its fine.
Its normal.
This is what it feels like to not have
a cell phone and have people texting while I talk to them. I don't
get upset in the sense that I think I should get back at them by
texting someone. I just want to go home or away from them. I'd rather
be alone for real than sitting with someone and feeling that way.
When you tell me to hold on so you can text or call someone that
isn't with us and doesn't plan on being with us it sucks.
I've gotten good at pretending it
doesn't bother me though. Sorta. I hang out with people and they will whip
their phone out and make a call or start texting (I can hear you
pressing the buttons, you're not as slick as you like to believe you
are) while I am talking and I'll just sit there and wonder what they
would do if I just got up and left. Because that is what you are
doing when you do that.
You're not there.
You think you are because you've been
living this way for so long, but you're not.
You're a piece of what you used to be.
You used to be someone that left the
house to see someone without the need to check directions because you
knew where you were going.
You tried new food based on friends
opinions or because you had a sense of adventure and not because of
what an app suggested.
You left your kids with people because
you trusted them with whom you left them with.
You used to show your vacation pictures when you got home, not while you were still there.
The time you spent with someone was
yours alone not the time for followers on Instagram.
Your engagement was known by family and
friends before hundreds of strangers you have no intention of
inviting to your wedding.
You used to be you.
Now you're everyone.
I know that this all sounds preachy and
its hard to make it not sound as such. I have read others peoples
articles about not using cell phones. It is hard not to sound like an asshole when talking about doing something almost no one else is. Most without cell phones do it as an experiment or
lost their phones for some reason or other and realized how different
their life was after doing so. I'm not gonna tell anyone to try
either of those. Telling people why I don't have, want, or need this
thing is like convincing them to pull their hands out of fire.
“But my hands are cold.”
Wear gloves!
“That takes too long.”
You're gonna hurt yourself!
“Too late. I'm already burned. Might
as well keep on doing what I'm doing. You should try it! Such warmth!”
I've even read some funny articles
where people talk about how many people may have missed their next
relationship or soul mate while walking down the street because they
were busy talking or texting. That is kind of extreme and fear based.
“I don't wanna miss the person of my dreams!” (smashes phone to
ground) Someone probably just thought of how they met the person they
are dating because of cell phone technology or an online site. I'm
sure your kids will love hearing how you met dad through the screen.
I hope our baby has your touchscreen... |
That's for a whole 'nother blog.
I wonder what would happen if people
who spend most of their time texting decided to use maybe half that
time to do something they have been putting off. Making art,
cleaning, seeing a friend, or that thing you keep saying you don't
have time to do.
One day we'll find out what the long
term effects of cell phone use is. Hell, you're already participating
in the experiment. Your grandparents didn't have to live this way.
They didn't spend hours staring at a tiny screen killing their thumbs
and shortening words until they forgot how to actually spell them.
Its not always auto-corrects fault. How does your neck and shoulders
feel? How about your eyes? People in their 30's now have pains only 60 year old folks used to complain about.
I don't feel magical or special because
I don't have a cell phone. I don't know what it is like to have one
from experience so I can only look at it from my side of the fence.
And from my side of the fence it doesn't look all that fun.
I have been alive for 35 years and have
never owned a cell phone. Looking at the world and how it turns being
dominated by them I think I made the right decision. I don't want to
be a part of that world. I don't like being talked to differently
because I don't want to be a part of that world. I don't want to have another conversation about this again with strangers. Its sad enough that I know friends more from the tops of their heads than their faces...and not in a sexy way.
No comments:
Post a Comment