This lady is thirsty! Megan Davis
Hoelting who is 31 (or so reports say though I have my strong doubts)
of Williamson County, Texas was charged with felony burglary after
she broke into her husband's friends house and tried to give his wang
some mouthasizing. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. While he
was sleeping he woke up when he felt Megan straddling his legs and
wearing just her draws. Then he felt her mouth on his junk and was
like “Whoa whoa whoa! Ew! Not from you!” That is not a direct
quote and should not be considered one. Its just what I would have
said if I woke up to this particular person trying it. Or maybe not.
Its been a while. No. I wouldn't. For sure I wouldn't. He told her to
leave, she decided that staying was a better idea, and then he called
the police. Damn, I would've loved to hear that call.
“Police! Yes. There's a woman in my
home trying to suck my dick! Yes, a woman! What? Uh, she's blond.
About 5 foot 3. 130 pounds. Excuse me? No, I'm not gay! Yes, I'm
single! Say again? Well, because she looks like Gollum in Lord of the
Rings before he finally succumbed to the power of the one true ring,
that's why!”
It turns out that Megan has been busy
this month. She was arrested three other times before this. Yes.
Three. On October 14th she was arrested for theft. On the 16th she
was arrested for assault. On the 21st she was busted for public
intoxication. How many chances does a person get to fuck up? She
worked her way up to sexual assault! What was she gonna do a week
from now? Work her way up to murder?
I have seen other pictures of
her and I don't know what the hell happened to her to make her go
down this crazy ass path. She looked happy. Now she has been arrested
four times in a couple of weeks.
Again, when I cover stories like
this I want to know what combinations of liquors made them do
something like this. “Oh, no, Dante. Don't drink that! That's the
strip naked/fuck an ATM/dance in traffic formula!” With every story
that includes booze there needs to be a list added as a public
service to make sure I don't accidentally do it. The last thing anyone wants is to wake up with me between their legs.
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