Oh, the 90's. That shit was weird.
Particularly the styles of clothing. I used a picture of the Spice
Girls because they were very stylish for the time and also because
Scary Spice is hot as fuck. My little sister loved that group and
while I hated their music I loved looking at a couple of them.
I decided to look at some of the styles
from back when I was a teenager and also issue a warning to society:
don't bring this shit back! There has already been a flood of fashion
from back then that has been making a comeback and it is horrifying
to see what was bad then creeping into the present. Its 2014. Where
are my metal pants?! I mean, I like some of the styles my parents wore
but I'm not gonna be wearing bell-bottoms.
Black Simpsons. This was a real thing
that existed. If you were going down Crenshaw Blvd. or at the local
Swap Meet (Slauson or Western take your pick) and you would see
bootleg shirts all over the place. You would see the Simpson's with
brown skin playing basketball, smoking weed, and even Bart with
dreads.
The shit was weird and I'd be lying if I didn't say I got
caught up in it. I wore these cheap ass shirts with pride because
everyone else had them. Yes, kids. There was a time when wearing
bootleg shirts that everyone knew were bootleg was perfectly fine.
But not, like, fake Cross Colors like that one girl wore. Jesus. Over
20 years later and I still remember her. You couldn't pull this shit today. These would be yanked off the shelf within one week by a gaggle of angry lawyers. They would be sued by Nike, The Simpsons, and maybe even N.W.A.
Around The Way Girl. Oh, man. Even when
this was in style and the shit I was not a fan of it. I've never been
a fan of makeup and this style required a lot of it. Also hair that
couldn't be touched and/or wouldn't move in a storm. These kinda
chicks also had huge sunglasses and earrings that looked like they
weighed about three pounds each. Sadly, when I went to my reunion a
few years back and these chicks that were known as around the way
girls were still rocking that look. That look past 1994 and the age
of 15 is just not a good look.
Look at that style. I mean, the tight pants were really nice but you couldn't see a girls draws the way you can these days with their yoga pants and leggings. These girls were so inspired by a song that the dedicated their entire wardrobe to it. I wonder where all this stuff went when it finally faded away. Somebody's mama has a big ass leather coat and bamboo earrings hidden somewhere in the house.
Timberland Boots. I am guilty of owning
a pair of these. Fake ones of course. My mother wasn't trying to
waste money on a pair of giant fucking boots that I didn't need. I
have lived in Los Angeles all my life. No matter what the weather has
ever been it has never been Timberland boot weather. These were the
style for a while here but a necessity on the East coast. It fucking
snows there, like, in the streets. Here you have to go to the snow.
On purpose.
And if you wore these clunkers you had to wear baggy ass
pants and a coat that you did not need here. Know why? It doesn't
fucking snow! There are guys walking around still wearing these in
two sizes too big because...science. At one time every guy wanted to look like Method Man thinking they would get a chick like Mary J. Blige that would stick with them even when they got their asses locked in jail.
Claire Danes. Ugh. I was around 15 or
16 years old when this style was made very popular because of the
show My So Called Life. Lots of girls cut there hair into this look
and started dressing super frumpy. Just nothing matching which drives
me insane. Or they wore her other style with the short plaid skirt
and knee high black stockings which I was all for. I was so all for
that look. But when I went to my new school there were far too many
girls that had that look but were not qualified to sport such attire.
Thankfully once this show ended the style went away. For many. Lots
of girls had to grow their hair back out. Kinda like all those poor
Black women that got Halle Berry's haircut but couldn't keep that
shit together. The struggle was real.
Windbreaker Suits. This one. I have
written in the past about about wearing an ugly windbreaker outfit
that ruined my life (click here to share my shame!). These things
made no sense. They weren't thick enough to keep you warm in the
cold. And they weren't thin enough to keep you cool in the heat. They
are just like wearing an extra layer of skin. Weird cotton skin on
the inside with loud material on the outside. And the colors. Oh, the
colors! Just a mixture of everything that shouldn't be together
stitched together for maximum lunacy. Its the Australia of clothing. There is no man fighting off ass while wearing one of these things.
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