Damn. Some folks take Thanksgiving more
seriously than others. Jack-Lyn Blake of Pennsylvania who is 47 years
old and too goddamn old to be acting this silly stabbed her 45 year
old boyfriend Benjamin Smith in the chest after he started eating
dinner without her. I could spend an entire blog just breaking down
her silly ass name. Jack-Lyn? Really? Hey, allow me to introduce
myself. My name is Dawn-Tay. Weirdo.
So the story goes that Benjamin and
Jack-Lyn got into an argument earlier in the day because you can't
really call it a holiday if there isn't a fight. Jack-Lyn needed a
little nappy poo after getting wasted and when she woke up she
discovered Benjamin balls deep in turkey and stuffing. She charged
him, chasing him around the dinner table while Benny Hill's theme
played in the background (in my head), and eventually caught him.
Then it became stab time. Police were called and when they arrived
Jack-Lyn came out saying “I stabbed him” because she has never
watched TV and on TV they tell you to never admit guilt.
Benjamin was treated at the hospital
and his injury was considered not terribly deadly. She threw the
knife at him and that is some shit that only works in movies. By the
way, stabbing people isn't as efficient as you'd like to believe.
Jack-Lyn was charged with reckless endangerment, making terrorists
threats, and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. I'm sure she'll
be out before Christmas to continue her reign of terror.
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