Monday, February 9, 2009

The Halle Berry Theory


In my last blog I mentioned something I have dubbed the Halle Berry Theory. I think of this in certain instances when an attractive women is dumped, cheated on, or hit by a guy. You look at an actress, singer, or even one of your friends and ask yourself, “How in the hell can he do that to her?!” Halle has bad hearing in one of her ears because some boyfriend hit her. She was cheated on and hit by David Justice. Eric Benet cheated on her and said he was a sex addict. If Halle ain’t safe, what will happen to you?

The Halle Berry Theory

1. Looks don’t matter.

How could he cheat on Halle? She’s fuckin’ hot!

Seriously, people. Looks really don’t matter. If they did all hot people would be in a relationship. I know some hot people that are single and it would puzzle me if I wasn’t the inventor of the HBT (that’s “Halle Berry Theory” in case you’re too slow). We tend to forget that attractive people are some of the meanest people we know. Growing up being told how great you are makes you into an adult that believes that shit. No matter how hot Halle is, there’s always a reason not to like someone.

2. Someone is tired of fucking you.

If I were dating her, I would be having sex all the time!

This one I heard when I was younger and the later as an adult. And it made sense to me after certain events transpired. No matter how hot, how sexy, how beautiful someone is, someone is tired of having sex with them. Eric Benet, a singer that I only know because he fucked Halle, cheated on her. It had to be a ton of times if he said he was a sex addict. Someone looks at Halle butt booty ass naked and goes, “Meh.

3. Hot people have issues.

I love bangin’ crazy chick!

Crazy chicks are the male equivalent of women dating bad boys. Guys like crazy chicks because they are fun in bed. I don’t know why chicks like bad boys. I have never been one and never got the appeal of it. I get the whole thing where a chick would wanna change them, but why not just not go after an asshole in the first place? Anyhoot, guys don’t try and change crazy chicks. They have sex with them and if they are unlucky they get into a relationship with them. Halle is crazy. We all know this. Hot people have all kinds of issues in regards to their looks. Some that are way too attractive will sit there and go, “Oh, I look fat/ugly/stupid.” No matter what you say, you cant change their opinion.

Rockets.

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