Bionic Weave

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Police said a woman's tightly-woven hair weave saved her life.

Police were called to a Kansas City market at about 11:30 p.m. Wednesday. Arriving officers found the 20-year-old woman there. She told police she had pulled into the market and saw a man with whom she had recently ended an eight-month relation with inside a car. A second man came up to the woman’s window and told her that the ex-boyfriend still loved her, Kansas City police said.

The woman told the second man, "I don’t love him."

At that time, the victim heard gunshots and saw her ex-boyfriend walking toward the back of her car firing a handgun, police said. The victim sped away in her vehicle as her back window shattered, police said. She returned to the scene a moment later to witness both men leaving in their vehicle.

Officers found a bullet in the woman’s hair and said her tightly-woven weave stopped the bullet. The victim was not harmed. The ex-boyfriend and the second suspect were both taken into custody a short time later.

I saw this story on the news earlier this morning and assumed that the chick was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn’t know that a guy was trying to kill her because she didn’t love him anymore. I also didn’t know she was 20. She looks 40. I mean, damn.

What if she was like, “Oh, I love him, too.” Would the gun said “Oh, okay. Let me just put my gun away and give you a hug.” There’s this thing I learned about in that old movie “Falling Down” starring Michael Douglas.

“The point of no return.”

Its where you’ve gone so far, said so much, or fucked up so badly you have no choice but to keep going. If you plan on shooting your ex in the face based on whether or not she says she still loves you, uh, you’ve gone past the point of no return. You’ve gone to a new place very few traverse.

“How the fuck this happen?”

The girl in the video that got shot in the weave looks like the type of chick that would forgive a fella for shooting them in the head. I’ve known women like this my entire life. No matter what a guy does they will take them back. She says her biggest concern right now is fixing her back window. What a damned planet.

Rockets.