Puttin' On The Hits!

“Chris Brown was arrested over the weekend on suspicion of making a criminal threat (on an as-yet unidentified 19-year-old woman who may or may not be a big star herself). According to the Associated Press, possible domestic battery charges may follow.”

This falls into my good ol’ “Halle Barry Theory.” I swear I should try and publish this and get it recognized as true. I’ll get to the Halle Barry Theory in a minute. Let me get this out of the way first.

How in the hell could you hit Rihanna?! So far the reports keep coming in that it was her. Some say it wasn’t. Either way, you cant win in this situation. It’ll either be: A. He hit Rihanna, a singer loved by everyone (except me because her voice makes me angry and she looks like a giraffe). B. He was riding around with another girl that is not his girlfriend late at night. C. He hit a woman. Period.

I grew up in a house full of domestic drama. I don’t get it and I never understood why women would put up with that shit. If they say “Oh, I am doing it for the children!” they probably need therapy. As one of those children I can tell you that I would’ve been better off scraping for cash on the streets with my brothers than with the ass we ended up with or continuing the same bullshit for years to come. Chris Brown needs his ass kicked. Here is a quote from him:

“I don't want to mention the person's name - it wasn't my real father - but somebody hurt my mom and me, I had to deal with that from seven all the way to 13. It affected me, especially (my behavior) towards women -- I treat them differently. I don't want to put a woman through the same thing that person put my mom through. I was scared and timid when I was little. I used to pee in my bed...I think it was me being nervous, and scared to get up (out of bed) and see what was going on. My mom used to try and hide it from me and my sister, but we knew. Anybody that's going through it, just try to deal with it, talk it out."

Sometimes we need to follow our own advice. I’m looking at you, C. Breezy. If it turns out he beat a woman so bad she needed to go to the doctor (which she did) he needs to be sent to jail and used as currency. I bet some Chris Brown would get at least two packs of Kool Filter Kings. I’ll get to my Halle Barry Theory in another blog. Rockets.