"For Richer or Poorer..."

Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14th by many people throughout the world. In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine‘s cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionary. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines". Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards. The sending of Valentines was a fashion in nineteenth-century Great Britain, and, in 1847, Esther Howland developed a successful business in her Worcester, Massachusetts home with hand-made Valentine cards based on British models. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th century America was a harbinger of the future commercialization of holidays in the United States.

I have said before that I hated this holiday. Like, when I was younger and watched as the cuter, light skinned guys got fawned over while my tiny dark ass sat there looking goofy and being alone. But now I hate this fucking holiday even more.

Oh, in case you didn’t know, this blog is gonna be laced with all kinds of profanity. You have been warned.

So if you’re wondering, I didn’t have the best Valentine’s Day ever. I know it was worse for her. We’ve talked about the day back and forth and what we expected and what actually happened. It was fucked all around. Movies were watched, food was eaten, smiles were faked. Good times.

I can only do so much. Meaning, we all know I haven’t had a job in months. I get by with help from my friends and their well wishes and prayers and such. Waiting for the government to help will surely drive me insane I’ve learned. Its hard to do something nice when you don’t have shit. All I can give is myself. If it were something like, “You cant get me shit so you have to do to me whatever I say!” I’d be all over that. I’m broke, but not broken. I’m gonna start rambling even more soon so let me get to the point.

I hate that a day that is meant to get folks to buy cards and shit can make me feel like my relationship is about to end. The fact that it can make friends feel like shit. I hate it. It doesn’t make sense to me. A guy can go around acting like Asshole McDick all year but if he buys flowers on this one day he’s a god. I sit here thinking “If my relationship ended because of what I didn’t do on the 14th of February I’d be fine” because I refuse to have my life defined by a day. You can look at what someone did on a certain day and be upset abut it or think of all the other cool shit they have done for you. If we all lived by these theories no one would talk to each other. Everyone would be divorced. I cant be defined by day and I wont. All I can do is be who I am. Sometimes its awesome, sometimes its not. But if anyone, friends, family, or whatever, wanna bail out right now, this is the perfect time. I cant get any lower than I am right now. Rockets.