Sunday, February 22, 2009

"Open Wide And Say 'Ow! Help! Argh...'"

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BERLIN (Reuters) – A German court Friday found a dentist guilty of assault for forcibly extracting the dentures from a patient who did not pay a 700-euro (623-pound) bill.

Chirin Kolb, a reporter for the Suedwest Presse newspaper, said the dentist, 57, apologized to the municipal court in Neu-Ulm after he was fined 6,000 euros for going to the woman's home and taking the false teeth from her mouth.

"His lawyer read a statement expressing remorse and he apologized, saying he just blew a fuse because he was under a lot of professional and personal stress," Kolb told Reuters. He was trying to collect 700 euros not covered by her insurance.

The woman appeared in court with no teeth and said she did not want to wear dentures again because of the distress the incident had caused.

I have wondered for years what would happen if you went to a dentist and decided not to pay your bill later. I guess now I know. I hated going to the dentist when I was little. Its not that I was scared or anything. My teeth were fucked up. They were usually knocked out or rotted away. I know. Its shocking seeing as how my teeth are damn near perfect now. I hated going because my dentist, Dr. Okankwo, had the worst breath ever!

He’d get all in my face without his mask on and I swear his breath had a shape. It was thick and hearty. Like a soup. My dentist had breath as thick as soup. God, that sounds horrible. He would give me silver teeth or cap them so they could fall out later. I still have fillings from when I was 9 or so. When I would see my cousin with her braces I wondered, “What would her dentist do if she couldn’t pay?” I guess he could come to her house and yank them sum bitches out!

I swear, in other countries they can get away with so much crap that we never would be able to! In no state here could you not pay for something inside of you and have a doctor come to your house and yank it out. “You gon’ pay for that triple bypass!” Have ‘em try and cut your heart out at your front door. Sheesh…

Rockets.

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