Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Drunk Teacher Likes To Drink

This is the image of a woman who ran out of fucks to give. 57 year old math teacher Kathleen Jardine lives in the danger zone in a world that involves drinking, driving, cabbing, drinking, teaching, and more drinking. You can just imagine her going “What're you lookin' at, ya sonuvabitch?” Class started at Poston Butte High School in Tan Valley when Jardine started cursing at the students. They called for security instead of filming her like kids these days are supposed to and she was rounded up. She admitted to them that she had been drinking the night before. And the morning before school. Oh, and during the school day because the party don't stop till the panties drop. When her blood alcohol level was checked it was .205, almost three times the legal limit for driving. I point that out because of her actions from the previous night. You know how I mentioned that she was drinking the night before school? Well...

The night before she was pulled over by cops for drunk driving and had her car impounded. She actually took a cab to work because of this, and well, the fact that she was drunk as shit. She has been charged with public consumption of alcohol and can get disorderly conduct charges as well. The school won't say what they are gonna do with her but I suggest party. It turns out that she has been canned for this before back in 2011 when she showed up drunk in a New Mexico school.

When I hear stories of people doing crazy drunk shit I always wonder exactly what they were drinking so I can avoid their behavior. Thankfully not only did they list what she had in class but they provided a photo! One bottle of vodka that I've never heard of, a small bottle of win for that drunk on the go, and a bottle of Sunny Delight because fuck your health. Seriously, Sunny D is one of the grossest things you can put in your body next to broccoli. So using science I've figured that all three of these things mixed together will make me do things to end up in the papers. Her students will be telling this story for the rest of their lives. I talk about a teacher dancing and her wig staying in one spot when I was 7 years old almost 30 years later. This woman will go down as a legend in that school. But come on. Look at that woman. You know everyone knew she was a drinker.  

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