Sunday, March 29, 2015

Five Things I Learned Being A Passenger

I don't drive. I am too goddamn old to not have a vehicle if you go by, like, society terms. But I don't do that. Not that I'm a rebel or anything. But know that I am not responsible enough to control a two ton machine that has the ability to go faster than any human could ever run. Or the money to pay for such a machine. Because of this I am always in the passenger seat.

In this Five Things I Learned Being A Passenger I'm gonna cover what it feels like for me to be sitting next to the driver in a car. The backseat feels way safer in case you're wondering. But I tend to be sitting next to someone in the front with one hand on the door handle and the other clutching my pounding heart as people weave their way through traffic to get somewhere a few seconds faster. Its real in them streets!

I Have No Control

When I am in the passengers seats I can't stop you from doing anything. All's I got is the ability to jump out the door or grab the wheel if I'm feeling dangerous. I'm sure that if I drove I'd feel a bit different about this whole situation but since I don't I'm just 220lbs. of meat sitting inside a death bringer. I am literally at the mercy of the driver.

One of the worst feelings in the world is when I am staring at the road and then look to the left as we approach another car is seeing the driver with their head craned to the left looking at someone on the sidewalk or reading a billboard or something. There is a moment where I have to ask myself “Are they gonna watch the road before we...?” And there have been more than a few times where the voice was so loud that I had to say “Car” and the driver went “Oh! I was looking at...” and slammed on the brakes.

Your Cell Phone Use Is Terrifying

I hate watching people behind the wheel of a car texting. If the light turns green and traffic doesn't move chances are the person in the front has their head down and are texting. Being in the car with someone texting behind the wheel is a combination of embarrassing and terrifying. I have and will slap a phone out of a hand that is texting. There are hundreds of ways I would choose to have my life ended. Going through the windshield of a car at 60 miles an hour because someone was looking for directions or letting someone know we're on the way is not one of them.

I know that everyone that does this thinks they are the magical one that will continue to text while driving and not get into an accident. You can jaywalk a hundred times but all it takes is one car to change your life. Its all about giving a shit, really. How would you feel if someone you cared about died in a horrible accident because someone just had to send a text message?

People Become Rage Monsters

I have seen friends that are funny, loving, and happy turn into completely different human beings when they get behind the wheel of a vehicle. There is something scary that happens when people are in the drivers seat. They start saying things to someone in another car that they wouldn't say to their face or any other person in their life. Even if their friend pissed on their laptop in front of them they wouldn't let loose the string of expletives that they do to a complete stranger that makes them a few moments late.

Have you ever been in the car with someone that gets cut off and they go after them? I have! Know how it ended? With nothing. They catch up with the other person and give them the finger, curse, or stare at them. You don't know the person in the other car or what they are capable of. And if they get out of that car how are you gonna handle the situation? When was the last time you got into a real fight? How fast are your hands? You have a gun I don't know about? Or did you just put the both of us into a potentially deadly situation because you have anger management issues?

I'm Not A Mind Reader

When you are barreling towards the stopped, red lights of the car in front of us I have no idea whether or not you see that traffic is not moving at the moment. When you suddenly swerve or make a sharp turn I don't know that its because you passed our turn. To me you just did some crazy shit for absolutely no reason. Could you have just made a u-turn a block later? Sure. But we live in a world where people have to do things and be places now. Right now. Not later. Now. Safety be damned.

Also, I think some people forget that their moods have an effect on their driving. I have been with some mellow ass people that drive a nice, decent speed. Let people pass. Its nice. But I have also been with people who had a shitty day and they take it out on the road and all's I can do is just sit there hoping that we get their alive. In case you're wondering, yes, I have been in a car accident and it was caused by someone that didn't want to wait six more seconds for the light to change. I had no idea she was gonna make that turn until I saw headlights coming towards my side of the car. Ah. Good times...

I'm Grateful

As scary as it is riding in the care with some people I am thankful that I can. There are usually about two times a year where I go “Damn a car would be convenient right now.” So for that I am grateful that I have friends that drive so we can go far places, carry lots of shit, and help me after all them bank robberies I be doin' because you know how ya boy love them bank robberies. I'm kidding. Currently. But it is nice to have friends that can handle the responsibility of owning a vehicle and taking care of it enough to where it won't just start shooting smoke from under the hood when you turn the key in the ignition. And before you think to ask, yes, I have been in cars with people where the hood exploded. That shit will get your heart pumping.

Click here for previous Five Things I Learned.  

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