Sunday, May 17, 2015

The Hotness According To Men And Women

I was recently trolling the internet looking for something to bitch about (which I do a lot) in terms of looks. The hotness. What is the body that people want right now? Personally, what I am into physically makes no sense and is all across the board. I found this site called Bluebella which sells sexy time things.

They asked 1,000 men and women to pick their perfect man and woman and using scary Frankenstein type technology made it. This is one of those situations where something sounds good until you see, hear, or taste it like gum and crackers. By the way, this is obviously British. There are other sites that have done these but this is the first one I found so pffft.

According to women their perfect woman would have Cara Delevingne's face, Jennifer Aniston's breasts, Gwyneth Paltrow's stomach, the Duchess of Cambridge's hair, and Elle MacPerson's legs.

According to men she would have Megan Fox's face, Kim Kardashian's boobs, Michelle Keegan's stomach, Scarlett Johansson's hair, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's legs.

The crazy thing about this is that if you asked me to make something like this I couldn't. When I like someone's look I just like it. I don't go “Oh, she would be hotter if she had someone else's boobs.” It also doesn't help that I just can't stand some of the women that each side chose. I have never understand the fascination with Megan Fox. She is one of those women that when guys drool over them I understand that I'm not a full fledged member of the fraternity. And with Scarlett Johansson the last thing I think about when I picture her is her damned hair. If you asked me to pick some hot women ever here is my list. I'll do about five just to keep this from getting ridiculous.

With all this being said, I'm not trying to be with someone that looks like these women nor am I judging women based on them. That's something that men get pinned on them a lot as if we are trying to make women live up to these standards. Are there people that do that? Yes. Asshole men and insecure women. Looking at those images would give the wrong woman a complex. Now, according to women here is the perfect man.

Harry Styles' hair, Jamie Dornan's face, David Gandy's torso, Brad Pitt's biceps, and David Beckham's legs.

According to men he has Brad Pitt's hair, David Beckham's face, Ryan Gosling torso, Hugh Jackman's biceps, and Frank Lampard's legs.

I don't even know who some of these guys are but I know none of 'em are Black! What I do know is that I do not and never will look like those guys. It won't depress me or go on a tirade about the unreasonable body expectation women have for men. Some women want guys that are ripped and hard the same way guys want a chick with a big ass.

In regard to Beckham I knew who he was from magazine covers years ago and thought “This fucker looks impossibly good. Way to throw off the curve, asshole.” Then I heard him talk and laughed my ass off and felt better about myself. Because I'm petty. Here are some guys I think most women like and if I could be another dude I'd pick to be.

If you read this and got upset at how your body looks you need to get a bit more confidence. If everyone looked hot then ugly people would be sought after because it'd be different like how chicks with a ton of tattoos and/or huge asses or guys with filthy looking beards and those stupid top knots are hot right now but in a few years won't be. I mostly hate the beard/top knot thing because that is a game Black men can not play.  

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