Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Celebrate The Vajayjay With Cookies (For The Kids...?!)

I had not one but two friends send me a link to this Reddit post about a 2nd grade teacher who caught all levels of hell for not allowing her classroom to munch down on some vagina shaped cookies. Click here to read the full post. Here is a sample of what happened.

“So Friday rolls around and the kids are excited. Autumn Lily Speaker comes into the classroom with a pan full of treats and brings them to me and says with a smile 'I decided you can use these to teach the kids about the woman's vagina today.' Baffled and completely caught off guard I slowly peel the aluminum foil off the pan to behold a plethora of sugar cookie and frosting vaginas. Not just any old vagina, but ALL KINDS OF VAGINAS...perplexed I give the parent the most professional look I can muster and quietly reply 'I'm sorry Autumn, but I can't give these to my students. This just isn't appropriate.'

Autumn bursts with the fury of a thousand angry Andrea Dworkin's and starts yelling in front of the class about how 'I should be proud of my vagina' and 'I am settling for a women's role in life.'”

Not actual vagina cookies...but close enough.

If I were a parent I don't think I'd be mad if someone brought vagina cookies to class. Surprised and confused is more likely of a reaction I'd have. I'd be more upset at the reaction of the baker. I don't think it is a schools place to teach my kids about sex let alone some random ass parent trying to shove vagina in my kids mouth.

Okay. Get over it. There is no way to make this post sound kosher.

This angry mother later sent a message to the teacher who was kind enough to screen grab it. I have slapped them together into one nice piece because I'm not a lazy ass like most other sites.

Damn. That woman went all in, didn't she? I have met parents who behaved like this before. The type of people that believe that if you don't do things the way that they do when raising children that not only are you doing it wrong, but that you're a terrible person. She wants the teacher to marry a man that'll beat her!

I like to examine things from different angles. And as a guy with an alleged penis I looked at this from the point of view of a man. Imagine if you will a dude trying this. Imagine finding out that a father brought a plate full of cock cookies to class.


That guy would be in jail right now. This mother overreacted like crazy and it sucks to be the child of someone that overreacts. You're in class one day having fun with your friends and as far as you know your mother got mad over some cookies and now you're at a new school. But most important...I hate mixing food and sexy.

I can't even eat a piece of candy and watch people doing anything sexy. I can watch surgery and eat dinner but as soon as someone sticks their tongue in someone's mouth I'm done. So I am against vagina cookies. Period. Damn it. This was a rough one to write.  


Jackie S. said...

The sprinkles on the balls, is the WORST!!!!

Dante said...

You acting like that plate full of vajayjay cookies is all right! At least they didn't make long sprinkles.