Monday, January 5, 2015

Whites Only "Meeting Room"

“In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:2-4

In Heaven there is a room not like any other in Heaven. As a matter of fact there are no other rooms in Heaven despite what you've been told. Nor doors nor windows. Except in one room. In this room angels and demons meet to discuss matters that the Lord does not wish to deal with.

He's a very busy guy.

Two angels that you have never heard of named sit in this room waiting for Satan to arrive. Their names if you must know are Jim and Red. Jim prefers a white business suit as opposed to Red who enjoys the robes they were given ages ago.

“He's always late” Jim said as he checked his nails. They were perfect. They were never not perfect. Red knew this and rolled his eyes. “What?”

“You're doing that thing with your nails” Red replied. “Why are we meeting with Satan again?”

“He wants to plead his case with the Lord” Jim said. He checked his nails again, noticed Red staring at him, and sighed. “He wants to come back.”


“That's what I say, but the way He's been acting lately you never know” Jim said just as Satan entered. He wore a dark gray suit with a black tie. His hair was cut very short which caught Jim by surprise. Satan was always a fan of his very long, almost white hair.

“Abaddon. Angel of Light. Beelzebub. Deceiver. Father of Lies. Leviathan. Lucifer. Tempter. Mammon. Anti-Christ. Son of the Morning...” Red whispered.

“You know I can hear you, right?” Satan asked as he sat down. “And do you have to do that every single damned time I'm here?”

“Its my thing, okay?” Red said. “Let me do this one thing and then we'll move on.”

“Fine” Satan said. “Continue.”

“Its ruined now” Red pouted. “You ruined the moment.”

“Jim” Satan said. Jim nodded. They had a history.

Before time had a name and the Earth and the stars were created Jim and Satan were for lack of a better word brothers. While Jim agreed with Satan's views he didn't have the ambition Satan had. When the shit hit the fan Jim sided with the Lord which angered Satan. Satan eventually forgave his brother. Jim did not have that luxury. The last thing he wanted was to be roommates with his brother.

“What can we do for you, Satan?” Red asked. Red was enjoying the discomfort that Jim felt around Satan.

“I want back in” Satan said. Jim scoffed. “Have you heard anything from Hell lately?” Jim shrugged. Red waited. “Exactly. Look at this.”

Satan opened the palm of his hand. A small black orb appeared to float above his palm. Red took a step back as he felt the evil radiate from it. Jim just watched. The orb began to clear and Red gasped at what he saw.


Hell was empty.

“What did you do?!” Red shouted.

“Nothing” Satan replied. “Its been like this for close to 1,500 years now.”

“I don't believe you” Jim said.

“I don't care what you believe” Satan said. He and Jim stared at one another.

“You should” Jim said. “Red and I are the only thing standing between you and the Lord.”

Satan stood and spread his wings. Each spanned over ten feet in length and appeared to be made of silver. He crushed the orb in his hands and let his wings flap a few times. Red had his back pinned against the nearest wall. Jim just watched.

“Very well, then” Satan said. His wings settled against his back. “But ask yourself this: if Hell is empty and you haven't seen my demons and lost souls on Earth, where could they possibly be?”

At that moment Satan vanished leaving behind the scent of Burberry cologne.

“You hear that?” Red asked.

“Yes” Jim said as the screams grew louder.

Heaven was being attacked.  


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