19 year old Notre Dame student Brian McCurren seems to believe that if you're gonna go berserk, then you don't half ass it. Kinda like how I say if you're gonna do something stupid, do it fast; this guy thinks if you're gonna act a fool act a complete ass. He was arrested for breaking into a massage spot, eating a shit ton of food, and of course causing a fire. Surprisingly...not from Florida.
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| Pictured: foodie. |
Brian used a flower pot and used it to
smash his way into a massage parlor called Therapeutic Indulgence.
Then not being done causing a ruckus he used a hammer to make a hole
big enough to get his crazy ass through. He made his way into the
kitchen where he ate half a box of Hot Pockets and passed out eating
Drumsticks ice cream while heating up some mac and cheese in the
microwave. Cops found his dumb ass passed out at the table. The mac
and cheese set off fire alarms which is why police showed up. But
Brian like any good Tasmanian Devil slept through the whole thing.
Poor little thing was tuckered out.
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| The suspect was described as green with purple shorts. |
Brian slept through the whole thing including police showing up. They found him knocked out at the table. He couldn't tell them how he broke into the parlor or why. He was arrested for vandalism, underage consumption (.106), and burglary.
Brian let cops know that he had been
smoking synthetic marijuana which I didn't know was still a thing.
Seriously. If I was gonna decide to start getting high I wouldn't be
trying to get high off no space age weed. Judging from his mugshot he
doesn't appear to be in terrible shape. Just don't get between him
and his Hot Pockets.
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