I'm not sure why this story happened. There could be a hundred explanations and none of them would sit right with me because I'm a human being and as a human being I believe that other human beings should not be shitting in elevators. 49 year old Patricia Ann Jamison does not agree with me so she was arrested for being a nasty ass. I mean, seriously. In an elevator. Oh, in a courthouse. Forgot to mention that part. And it was in Florida.
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| Of course Florida. |
Security was told that there was a pile of shit in the elevator in the courthouse. I'm sure they knew immediately that it came from a person. I call it HuDoo. Kiyoshi calls it PooMan. Either way its disgusting. Jamison was the last human to exit the elevator and they even had her on video and “appear to pull her pants down and back up toward the interior elevator buttons consistent with someone using the bathroom.” That means she dropped trough and did the damn thing.
The video also showed her adjusting her
clothes after getting out of the elevator. They charged her nasty ass
with nuisances injurious to health. I love how every time I do one of
these stories I hear some new law that is a very litigious way of
saying “Ew!” I wonder if she had some medical problem or she got
a bad case of “The Fear.” Here is a definition of it from The
Kevin & Bean Show where I first heard the term.
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| Cleanse it with glorious flames! |
“An urgent, uncontrollable need to
use the restroom, coupled with the anxiety that there is not enough
time to make it to said restroom. The term originated when Psycho
Mike related a story wherein he took care of business on his parents'
lawn because he didn’t think he would make it inside. Tales of The
Fear also surrounded the later fascination with Hot Cheetos and their
undesirable side effects.”
Yeah. That might be it.
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