Monday, October 6, 2014

Kids These Days 44

I try not to be a spoiled bitch but it is hard. Some of the things that young folk never had to deal with creep into my head and it checks me. It reminds me of a simpler time when things weren't so convenient. A time where you had to have patience. Hell, a time when your parents were feared! Remember those days? Back when your parents weren't sad old people trying to be your friend, but forces of nature that you sacrificed to in vain attempts to appease them lest you face their wrath?

Oh, the wrath!

But kids today don't worry about things like that. One press of a button and they can record, film, and dial 911 on their parents. I think that's why some parents today skip right past punishments and straight to murder or buy them hoodies and let them hang out after dark. Let society punish them since they can't. I know the rules.

Despite my attempts to ward off the effects of the youth things still manage to creep in. Like TV shows for instance. If I was into a show I would watch it the night it aired otherwise I was just boned until it aired again...if I was lucky. You would show up for school and just hear bad recaps of a show you missed because you were busy playing outside, playing videos games, or trying to talk to friends on the phone.

That's another thing. I didn't get my own phone until I was 16 years old. It was a land-line (and still is) that my mother got me for my birthday because she was tired of me staying on the phone for hours at a time. Oh, the joy of having my mother picture up the phone while I was talking. It is impossible to look smooth when as I'm trying to get someone to touch my junk having my mother pressing every button on the phone then screaming for me to get off. There are now elementary students with phones because their parents, the same ones that grew up on playgrounds made from the steel and wood of slave ships, fear for their safety.

Swing low, sweet chariot...

It is funny to me when parents worry about their kids being safe outside the house when they can get into more trouble while at home. Used to be you worried about your kid walking on train tracks while listening to a Walkman, getting into your liquor, or being kidnapped because you let them wear a shirt with their name on it.

Now if a kid wants to get turnt up all's they have to do is go to their parents medicine cabinet. Parents have drugs that will do things that hippies could only dream about. And to get their kids off drugs you know what parents do? Put them on drugs! God, if I were a kid today with my behavior I would be on everything but time.

I was called quiet, shy, crazy, and a loner. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster, huh? I would've sounded like a pack of Tic-Tacs walking down the street I'd be so full of pills. I was actually on a medication when I was younger. Good luck finding out what it was. My mother took me to the hospital because my hair was falling out from stress. Doctor asked what a 10 year old had to worry about. I told him “Everything.”

Now if a kid doesn't want to join the little league parents worry and give them a pill that will make them more outgoing. The side effects of course are an upset stomach at least and homicidal tendencies at most. Hell, everyone is against taking hardcore drugs. When I was little we had Pee Wee Herman telling us to say no to drugs.

We all know how that turned out.

Today we teach kids how to be afraid of shit that is not even close to them. Kids are worried about catching jungle based diseases when the closest thing they come to something wild is their fathers drinking. Kids are afraid of bullies that type mean things at them. And don't get me started on their sexual activities. Girls will have the butt sex and say they are still virgins. Guys will shoot up a girls club and act surprised when she gets pregnant. Kids will fuck a teacher and tell people when back in my day you would've rode that out until graduation. Be a 24 year old senior because the teacher gave head so good fuck progress.

Now I'm just babbling. Let your kids grow up like you did. Get them off the computer. Let them play outside and have friends over. You don't want to raise “that kid.” We all know who “that kid” is because we all went to school with “that kid.” There is a whole generation of “that kid” being raised and we know what they look like when they grow up.

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