Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Best Woman/Worst Mother Alive

I am so happy that people I love send me stories like this. Dashuh sent this story about the best mother on the planet Earth...if she isn't your mother. 35 year old Rachel Lynn Lehnardt of Evans, Georgia was arrested for a lot of reasons. I'll get to them in a minute. A few weeks ago Rachel, I'm gonna call her that from this point on because I like to believe we'd be great friends, threw a party at her home for her teenage daughter. There was naked Twister, pot smoking (not the pot!), drinking, and the evening ended with Rachel having sex with a 16 year old guy. Jesus. My hands hurt from all the imaginary high five's I'm doing!

Rachel probably would've kept this all under wrap for a little bit longer but she decided to tell her Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor what she did. Why? I don't know. Maybe she felt guilty. I'm sure the boy didn't. I am speaking as a man with an alleged penis and if I was 16 and some 35 year old lady tried to put it on me I would make no attempt to stop her. Her sponsor called the cops after meeting with Rachel because he was jealous he wasn't invited and she has now lost custody of her 4, 6, 8, 10, and 16 year old children. Fucking hell. No wonder she is divorced. Too many goddamn kids.

During this party she also showed pictures of herself having sex with her boyfriend. That would have been the low point of the party for me. I don't wanna see that shit. She ended up having the sex with an 18 year old that was at the party and after falling asleep she was woken up around 3:30am having sex and thought it was the 18 year old. It wasn't. It was a 16 year old kid...that was her daughter's boyfriend.

Here is a quote from the sheriffs stations report. “Mrs. Lehnardt told [the sponsor] she and her daughter had spoken and that her daughter 'felt guilty because the 16-year-old was 10 inches long and huge, and if she had just been able to take it, he wouldn't have needed to rape her mother.'”

Whoa. I ran out of words.

The 16 year old with the freakshow cock will not be charged with rape because he is a minor and because he would be used as currency in prison. I made that part up. The first part. Not the part about currency. That shit would be a real concern. Rachel belongs to a support group for sex addiction and has described herself as a “sexual deviant.” She was arrested and charged with two counts of delinquency of a minor. She posted $3,200 bond and was released. This is the part where you start to hate me.

I wish something like this happened to me when I was a teenager! I can't get a 35 year old woman to have sex with me now so the chances of it happening then are even slimmer. And by slimmer I mean impossible. There is a lot of fucked up stuff in this story. The fact that she banged her daughters boyfriend. Getting them drunk and high which by the way, if any parent lets their kid do those things at home there is a lot of wrong sex happening in that home. If your teenage kid does this at a friends house he is probably banging a mom. Rachel is getting divorced, has a boyfriend, and fucked two teenagers in one night. And despite all of that my brain still says “She didn't mean it.” Why? Because I'm an idiot. A jealous idiot. I'm gonna just blame it on having slave blood. That's my new thing. Like how when a White person runs past me sweating I want to chase them. 

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