Back in the 1870's things were strange. Honestly, I''m surprised that we managed to make it past the year 2ad. Black people weren't equal, peanut technology wasn't being taken advantage of, and we kept food cool by just surrounding it with ice because since we were only living until 40 anyway, why not eat some lukewarm meat? Enter Thomas Elkins of Albany, New York. This is the best picture I could find because history.
 |
| That looks very...coffiny. |
This new version of cooling was made
using coils made of metal that worked way better than just sitting
your stuff on a block of ice and going “I guess that's taken care
of.” No. Your food is still going bad, stupid. People eventually
found out that this was good at keeping bodies cold too so that
became a thing. Hopefully on purpose. Please be on purpose.
 |
| Anything you can do I can do worser. |
After this I guess Elkins got bored or began to lose his shit because he decided to create a...something. They are calling it a chamber commode which is how old people say “toilet.” It was a combination of a mirror, table, washstand (whatever the hell that is), easy chair, dresser, book shelf, and wait for it...toilet. I guess its for those times when you feel like reading a book, eating, resting, washing your face, and taking a dump. This is a scary invention and I'm equal parts happy and disappointed that I don't have one.
 |
| At least the food stains on your clothes make sense now. |
He also made a weird ass quilting
frame, ironing table, and dining table thing. Not sure what he was
going for. God forbid you wanted to eat but mama was busy quilting or
ironing. Elkins is a good example of things going just a bit too far.
Its cool his fridge thing was made because I like my milk like I like
my women: cold and pale. Oh,god. That's terrible.
Click here for previous Cool Shit Black People Invented.
No comments:
Post a Comment