Kids These Days 31

There was this comedian Red Grant that said something a few years back that always stuck with me. He said when fucking around with young girls to have a flag and a whistle so when they start doing that “...wild shit blow your whistle and throw that flag. Personal foul. Unnecessary roughness on the ride.” Nasty ass dudes think its fine to mess around with these young girls, but its not. They are starting off at level 9 out of 10 shit when the fact is when I was growing up seeing a girls belly button was considered an 8. Jason Ash learned this the hard way when his ass got killed having sex with 16 year old Jessica Burlew.

"Hi."

In Arizona which is the craziest state after Florida, Ohio, and Texas this chick was fucking her 43 year old boyfriend when shit got heavy and she ended up killing him. This all took place at the girl's mom's house by the way. Oh, don't worry. This is gonna get way more ridiculous. Before I continue let me say that I feel absolutely no sympathy for this guy. If you are in your 40's and messing with a teenager you are a big loser or a time traveler from the 1800's where this shit seemed okay to do.

The safe word was "Gggggggggssk...!"

Burlew plead not guilt to second-degree murder after choking Ash to death with an extension cord during sex. She says he never used the “safe word” so she just kept on doing it. Then to try and revive him she started cutting him because science. After seeing that didn't worked she just started cutting him more because kids these days. She eventually called her mother to report that Ash aka Gothadelic was dead. Her mother says that her daughter is innocent and it was an accident.

Just a few days before being choked to death by a little girl during sex (which is a sentence you never want attached to you name during a conversation) Ash wrote “i like to dissect girls...did you know i'm utterly insane?” and “Your throat, I take grasp, can you feel the pain?” So poetic. Fucking weirdo. Not only are you and this chick insane, you're a jackass. There is nothing sadder than an old man trying to be cool. Trust me. I'm almost there.

If you have a teenager just assume that they are doing shit like this with adults online or other dumb ass kids. You can say they aren't because you didn't raise your kid to act like that. No one raises their kid to make dumb decisions but kids are getting progressively stranger. This girl has piercings all over her face and she is only 16. If I had a kid pull that shit I'd throw magnets at their face while they slept. New tattoo? Sprinkling flour on it when you least expect it. I find out you're doing weird shit online? Guess who's doing homework by candlelight? You are.

Click here for previous Kids These Days.