We Going To Hell 5

Dudes are weird. We just are. There are times when guys either hate someone so much or love someone so much that they whip their junk out and do strange shit with it. Like beating off in someone's shoes. Hello, Timothy Margis. This 39 year old freak was arrested after leaving his love potion in a female coworker's shoes. This happened in Illinois at Concordia University whose motto is “At your service” which he took too seriously.

Margis was seen coming out of the office of this lady when she saw him leaving while buttoning his pants and fastening his belt. Ladies, if you ever enter a room that doesn't begin with “bath” and a guy is leaving while his pants are unhitched, just call the police. Its safe to assume that a crime has been committed. Which there was. Because he jerked off in her shoes. She found a “clear liquid” in them and probably gagged and screamed. I know I would. When she asked him why he was in there he said he was checking it because it was unlocked. Guess that turned him on. Nothing like an unlocked door to get my motor revved up because opened doors are like metaphors for vajayjays. Right?

After being contacted by police he admitted to doing it and was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and public indecency. He's free on just $150 bail which is nuts to me. Oh, and he was fired from his job. The lady who had man gravy in her shoe is gonna end up having to watch her back though because this asshole was the security director and likely knows how to get in and out of that place with no problem.

That awkward moment when she realized it hadn't rained.

Some articles are saying that these two were not in a relationship as if being in one is gives some sort of license to leave baby batter in someone's stuff. Its not. Its never crossed my mind to jerk off on a girlfriends stuff. Like I've said countless times in other situations, there's no rehab for this. You don't spank it on people's shit and then go back to a normal life.

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