Wednesday, February 12, 2014

We Going To Hell 4


Every year or so someone pops up in the news looking like a damned lunatic because they have something that has the image of Jesus on it. I think it was a coupe of years ago someone had bird shit on their window and said that it looked like Jesus. This time its Paula Osuna from Silver City, New Mexico and she didn't see Jesus in her cheese toast or on a window like some of you blasphemers. Oh, no. Jesus made a guest appearance on her toe!

You'd think she'd paint her nails and pluck them hairs.

Paula hurt her foot when she fell down some stairs because gravity. She jacked up her foot and asked her fiance to rub some holy dirt she had saved from a trip to a Catholic shrine in Chimayo on her foot. Dude, you aren't married to this woman yet. Like the great poet Al Bundy once said “Run. Run hard, run now, run silent, run deep, run like Mexican water through a first time tourist.” You still have a chance to escape this level of crazy! That is unless he is cool with this.

“My family has always done the pilgrimages to Chimayo and this is the first time I ever used it and I'm seeing something kind of come out full circle I guess” Paula said. No. No, you're not. That is not Jesus in your foot. And why is it always the same image of Jesus? Have you ever seen the picture of what Jesus may have actually looked like? You'd cross the street if you saw this guy!

Mommy, I'm scared!

If that image appeared on your food you'd send it back,not frame it and hang it in your home. The Muslims got it right with not having an image of their god. It makes sense because people start to get carried away with shit. Don't believe me? Check these out.

Here is an image of Jesus or Jimi Hendrix on a skillet.


Here he is on an iron.


Here he is on pita bread.


Here he is on a Walmart receipt...or Charles Manson.


And sadly the one that looks most like Jesus is on a dog's asshole.


Click here for previous We Going To Hell Posts.  

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